AWE

Meditating on the essence of GOD --- During this Advent season of 2016, I attempted to describe the essence of GOD. Here is what I wrote in my gratitude journal: YOU - YHWH Exceedingly, abundantly beyond beyond x a zillion --- and this doesn't begin to describe your essence - INFINITY - no beginning and no end. As a writer, I often experience frustration with words - those times when I can't find the ones I want, as I search in my "word box"... my thesaurus helps me in those times... but not now. And, I am so glad! I will NEVER find the words to describe the awe and wonder and majesty of GOD. He knew before time began on this planet that I would (in stumbling, incorrect grammar and sentence structure) write this...HE knew every sinful thought and action of my life. Yet, HE came as a baby, lived sinless and died in my place to restore me to this essence of love I can't describe. I am totally astounded. ❤

BUILD MY LIFE - Lyrics by Michel W. Smith

Verse 1 Worthy of every song we could ever sing Worthy of all the praise we could ever bring Worthy of every breath we could ever breathe We live for You Verse 2 Jesus, the Name above every other name Jesus, the only One who could ever save Worthy of every breath we could ever breathe We live for You Chorus Holy, there is no one like You There is none beside You Open up my eyes in wonder And show me who You are And fill me with Your heart And lead me in Your love to those around me Bridge I will build my life upon Your love It is a firm foundation I will put my trust in You alone And I will not be shaken.

A Jewel In Lamentations

No political statements here...just heart felt observations. For those of you who love America, an appropriate book to read is Lamentations in the Old Testament. Indeed, we need to lament. As my son said in his Facebook post, God help us. Lamentations 1:20 "LORD, See my anguish! my heart is broken and my soul despairs, for I have rebelled against you..." Ch 2:3 "All the strength of Israel vanishes beneath his fierce anger. The Lord has withdrawn his protection as the enemy attacks. He consumes the whole land of Israel like a raging fire." Ch. 2:19 "Rise during the night and cry out. Pour out your hearts like water to the Lord. Lift up your hands to him in prayer, pleading for your children, for in every street they are faint with hunger." The entire chapter of three is fiercely dark but look what Jeremish wrote in the midst of it: vv. 21 - 26 - "Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: the faithful love of the LORD never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. I say to myself, 'the LORD is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him' The LORD is good to those who depend on him, to those who search for him, so it is good to wait quietly for salvation from the LORD" And why, my son do I write this? Because HE is our only hope. And, from Psalm 91:4 are these amazing words: HE shall cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you shall take refuge. His truth shall be your shield."

Our Backyard

Our backyard reminds me of our society -- it "hums" with activity...Birds who are busy providing for their families; the bully mockingbird who sits high and yells his loud threats, the mourning doves with their soothing morning "coo coo coo", the hawk on the prowl, the forever scavenger black birds, the hummingbirds who spread beauty & move like a teenager high on life, and of course our ladies, the chickens!

PARCHED SOULS

My soul is dry. It feels parched. I am so tired of speeches. I am so tired of opinions (mine included). There is a deep longing in my soul. This morning I discovered what it is. One of my favorite authors Max Lucado has a devotional book called "It's Not About Me". I am just beginning my reading. But as is typical of Lucado, I don't have to read far before I am struck with relational feelings. Here are his opening words to chapter 3: "Moses asked to see it on Sinai. It billowed through the temple, leaving priests too stunned to minister. When Ezekiel saw it, he had to bow. It encircled the angels and starstruck the shepherds in the Bethlehem pasture. Jesus radiates it. John beheld it. Peter witnessed it on Transfiguration Hill. Christ will return enthroned in it. Heaven will be illuminated by it. One glimpse, one taste, one sampling, and (our) faith will never be the same... GLORY... GOD'S GLORY" Reminds me of Pastor Eric's sermon in part about Jesus' transfiguration. I often go to the cross. Maybe I need also to go to Mt. Transfiguration. I read Lucado's remarks on July 20th 2016 So 5 years later I still have a parched soul. Go to the Living Water, Gini Current thoughts: I'm still processing the anger, etc regarding the last baseball game. The route between Brian's house and ours takes us by the little league field. I want to look away. I think I can tell you the following because I am eliminating the details. The action the Little League Tournament Committee in Williamsport, PA took was against all managers and coaches. They went a step further. They said the coaches of TWLL are suspended from any further connection with baseball for an indefinite period of time. This breaks my heart regarding Brian. I know who he is. He was unable for a period of time to separate being a dad and being a coach. It cost him dearly. Those at TWLL who know and respect him are shocked. The pain and anger in me seems to spread like a thin layer of tar. It is sticky and hot and black. I was fooled into thinking the baseball fields were a safe place. Indeed, Satan is like a roaring lion roaming the earth, seeking those he can devour. A warning: wear your armor.

ARROGANCE

Arrogance is easy to see and find. Arrogance wants to be seen and heard. But it tries to disguise itself behind kindness, friendliness and unselfishness. Once the blow of intended injury has been inflicted the phony acts of kindness will begin. When the injured party cannot accept the "kindness" then the arrogant one can point at the injured party and claim "rejection" and then intensify the acts of antagonizing insulting taunts of superiority, lording over the injured one. The injured one cries for justice which does not always come. The Thesaurus uses the following words for ARROGANT: over-bearing pride, haughtiness, assurance, presummption, pretension, loftiness, imperiousness, vanity, conceit, egoism, bluster, swagger, insolence, dissdain, contempt, scorn and lordliness. And why am I writing this on my worship blog now? My precious family experienced the brunt of ARROGANCEE during and after the TWLL vs Villa Park district championship little league game on Saturday, July 10th. My soul is crying out for JUSTICE! As I am processing the events of the ugly game and pain that came as a result, I am having the book Cry Of The Soul help me process. It is a look at unrighteous anger vs righteous anger. Am I moving toward God to have Him help me with my anger or am I moving away from Him? As I reflect back on the game, it seems like and feels like Satan raised his ugly head and swaggered about with glee that he won the battle. As I had dressed for the game I had chosen to wear a necklace that held colors like a rainbow. And I felt like it was my visible connection with God. I felt He had promised me (although He hadn't) to say "Yes" to my request that we win the game. I told Charlie God had spoken to my heart (like the 2nd game prayer for Maddox) and said "relax Gini, I've got this. When we lost, I immediately reached up and tore the necklace from my neck and threw it in my purse. I was SO ANGRY ... angry at God. He let me down (I thought). The loss was painful. But the swagger of ARROGANCE that seem to circle again and again around us hurt so very, very much. Charlie and I found out that there is a movement of parents wanting justice who are calling out to the over-seers of the tournment. Letters have been written and now we wait. This season of life with so much anger, hurt and injustice in America seems the perfect stage for our parents of TWLL coming together and saying "NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The cry for justice seems to come from deep within as the good and decent say we will put into action our need for justice. On a personal level, I was reminded of an article to be published in the August magazine of FaithOnEveryCorner that I forgot about. It is called WAITING. A sad update on this story: The manager of the opposing team was reinstated so he could continue to manage his team as it continued to play in the tournament. Brian? Who knows about his future in little league. BUT, in a conversation I had with him about this, he basically said he is "over this" and is moving on. I am not there yet. But I am moving toward God now, more than way. ARROGANCE. Is this a subject to share about in FOEC Magazine I write for. I'll think on it.

Cry Of The Soul

Why do I recommend certain books to others to read? A book has to "grab" my attention right away or I won't read it. And, the book has to "speak" to me. Its subject matter will be what I "need" at the moment I start reading. What I read will often times bring someone to my mind. "They need the light humor of this book...they need to reflect on the deep truths of this book...they need the satisfaction and help this book can offer". I often want to buy a copy and give to someone. Such is the case with Cry Of The Soul. Now, I'm also trying a new tact: Ask God to guide me about the book - in what it says to me and the possibility of it speaking to another. God knows. So I truly need to do this. READ IT FIRST, GINI. Then heed God's guidance. I want to write my "reactions" to this book as I read it---hoping that the difficult passages will be softened and I can encourage others to pursue the book through its entire reading. There is an ebb and flow of this book - emotional and intellectual and spiritual. It will touch all the areas of who I am. I need to continue on, through those tough passages that I may find dry and boring and perhaps against the grain what I believe. If the book seems worth my while to read, which Cry Of----- does, then I need to respect it and read to the end. Judge it at the end Gini...keep reading. I am drawn to books dealing with the subject of God and my relationship to Him. I am challenged in C.O.T.S. to grapple with my emotions and see them as an avenue to a contemplative look at God - How I relate to Him and how He relates to me. Don't simplify what I feel. See these in light of wrestling with God, encountering and dealing with God. Let my emotions pursue my relationship with God. The Psalms can be my guide for this pilgrimage, to see God's heart.

When I Think Of All This...

My favorite prayer in scripture begins with "When I think of all this"...and when I read those 6 words I need to pause and ponder about "all" what? This prayer is Ephesians 3:14 - 19 NLT. I have to go to chapter 2 of Ephesians to discover the fullness of "all" and what caused Paul to say that he "falls to his knees". Me? I weep. The division in our world today caused by hate is reconciled in chapter two's words: "He (Jesus) made peace between Jews and Gentiles by creating in himself one new people from the two groups." And what does this have to do with me (Gini)? I went to Proverbs 21:30 for my answer: "No human wisdom or understanding or plan can stand against the LORD." In Jesus there is unity and no plan to divide can stand against it. Jews and Gentiles represent ALL of humanity. Paul was given the responsibility of bringing the Gospel to Gentiles, I being one of them. Every word I read in scripture written by Paul is to me and any non Jew on planet earth. I love the red ribbon of Christ's redemptive blood that runs its true and final course through God's Story, Genesis through Revelation. God, the Father is the creator of everything in heaven and on earth. Through His Spirit and Christ my roots can grow down into God's love and keep me strong. As I understand and experience this awesome love I can be complete with the fullness of life and power from God. This is the promise of this magnificent prayer in God's Word. And hopefully as I live out this promise I will be a part of bringing peace to others with Christ beside me, over me, behind me and in front of me. This GREAT news is the absolute best for my hurting and dying world. The daily push by the evil one to divide can be pushed back and away by HIS unifying redemptive love. All praise and glory to HIM.

History

June 25, 2020 Facebook: Growing up I was not a history buff...probably because most of my access to history was reading. But NOW I really enjoy reading. And much of what I enjoy reading is HISTORY. So I got this bit of info from a hymn history book. The Hymn, Ancient of Days was written in 1886 as part of Albany, New York's celebrating its bicentennial. Another source of history is, of course, the Bible. And the history recorded there isn't all sunny and warm. Much is dark. I can't imagine anyone destroying the Bible because of its history. I would be the first to admit and agree that much of America's history isn't sunny and warm but dark. Yet, I am SO sad about parts of our history being torn down. I'm not searching for reasons. I'm not wishing to engage in debates. I just want to say that this all makes me SO SAD

Could This Happen

COULD THIS HAPPEN? COULD THIS REALLY HAPPEN? The house was finally quiet. The giggles…noise from the toys…the television…the puppy’s barking. Silence. Sweet silence. The young couple took a few moments to enjoy it. Then they spoke of it. Was it possible this was the end of the first week of summer vacation? They were exhausted. Only the first week. The entire summer stretched out before them. How were they going to survive it with four children…the oldest just finished elementary school and had already rolled his eyes to express his boredom with the “family games”. The youngest was easy. She sat in her stroller and giggled as she tossed her bottle for the puppy to chase. The “in-betweens” played hide-and-seek. Mom and Dad? It was a great day of frolicking and picture taking. BUT, here they were. EXHAUSTED. The TV remained off. They both needed to talk about this. “We need a plan” they both said, without speaking. The next day was Sunday and there were two more in this month and at least four in each summer month ahead. How about going to church? They had planned on this before their first child was born. Both had grown up going to their church every Sunday with their families. It was how they met. They loved it! So, why hadn’t they gone? Fourteen years had past. They loved this place so much and wanted their family to experience life here. What happened? Now, pure exhaustion and the need for a plan prompted them to consider going. They could even add a picnic after the morning at church. Great! This would all take half a day and then they would still have time to prepare for the new work week! It was decided. The next morning, the four children were puzzled by the blur of activity. Nice clothes were laid out for them to wear. The family picnic basket was filled to the brim and sat by the front door. Mom and Dad were lovely and handsome in clothes that indicated this was not going to be a stay at home day. It wasn’t until everyone was buckled in and Dad had started driving down the street that Mom announced “We are going to church today!” Hmmm The four children knew what this meant. Yet, they hadn’t experienced it as a family until that morning. But the enthusiasm from mom and dad soon spread through the car and with gleeful anticipation they began to imagine the next few hours. Finally the church was in sight. But, something was strange. As they pulled into the parking lot, theirs was the only car. He looked at her. She looked at him. It is Sunday? Finally, he stopped the car close to the entrance. It was then, they noticed a large sign. They got out and slowly walked toward it. With horror, he read, “This church building has been closed by the authority of the United States Government. Any attempt to open it will result in prosecution.” Below the statement was a list of 10 reasons for the closure. Each window that had once been a beautiful stain-glass was now covered with a board. Each door had a large lock. At the park, as the children ran and played their games, mom and dad sat on the blanket in stunned sorrow. How could this be? On their way to the park, they had driven by many churches. Each had the same sign and boards and locks. As they quietly talked about the events of the morning, tears swelled up and rolled down their cheeks. They waited too long. Their children would never experience those beautiful days in church. That morning, she opened her eyes, wet with tears and turned in the bed to her husband. “I just had the most horrible dream!”

Between The 2 Eternities

BetweenThe2Eternities - a favorite phrase of mine (in fact it is the name of my worship blog) We live between the two eternities - first breath until our last...before all time and into no time. On this planet, I see myself in three positions: on the potter's wheel, kneeling at the cross, and on the anvil. For me, the position on the wheel reflects my design, physically, emotionally and gifts Psalm 139:13 - 18; at the cross I willingly, or not, bend the knee (Philippians 2:10) and on the anvil (Psalm 51) - owning up to my sins and submitting to His grace, mercy and judgment. After 74+ years I find myself thinking and saying to God "ENOUGH!" I keep wanting to slide off or jump off the anvil. Of late the heat has been too much. But His Word says He is watching me (El Roi), so although I said "Yes" to Jesus at His cross, He isn't finished with me and keeps telling me, "I will say when ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!" ❤

Be Here Now

"Be here now". Charlie shared this with me years ago, after a men's retreat. It stuck with me. I've often thought those three words (especially when driving my car). I get distracted. Even in writing this, I accidentally deleted what I wrote and now I am trying again. Where are the words? CRAZY! DISTRACTIONS! The task at hand is put aside by thoughts that yell, DO ME! THINK ME! I need to write...I want to write. But the words keep swirling around in my head. "Be here now" I use it as a catalyst to confront my distraction. But it is also a great three word prayer. God doesn't need a catalyst to be here now. But, I need to say the words to remind me of His presence. How can I trust those three little words to God for my here and now needs. HOW? "Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10 Stop...pause...ponder...take a deep breath...be still

Jesus, unfiltered

Jesus, unfiltered This is a sermon series title from Pastor Eric Kapur. Here are my thoughts about this. As I consider the act of "unfiltering" Jesus in a personal way, it seems to start with my prayer life. It is interesting that something happened on Saturday in Landon's baseball game. His team has a player who has emotional and mental challenges. Honestly, he looks like he doesn't have a clue about what he is supposed to do when his team is on the field, defensively. The game before yesterday's game he got so visibly upset he started to walk off the field, close to his left field position. Everything happening to him angered me. He was the only one giving him a bad time. Yet, I felt a questioning anger of why his family put him in such a painful place. He is last in the lineup. He is as tall or taller than Landon but about three times as big. He is mammoth! When he comes up to bat he looks like he could hit the ball a mile each time and for the pitchers on the other team who haven't seen him before, he is intimidating. But in our six games he hadn't hit the ball once, always striking out and walking just once. He just didn't seem to fit. Then, yesterday happened. Before the game started I began a conversation with one of our fans. I didn't know him. After chatting a bit I asked him which player he "belonged to". The name of the player was the boy I just described. His dad then shared a bit about him, where he went to school and about some of his struggles and how they were trying to help him. WOW. "Don't judge, Gini" was my chastising thought. Later in the game I was standing from fatigue and I was behind the home plate area. When this player came to bat, I suddenly felt a strong presence of God. "Please Abba, let him hit the ball" I prayed, feeling very heard. He swung the bat at the pitched ball and WHAM...clear out to the area of the field he positions defensively, hitting the fence. The fans and players went crazy with cheering. He didn't score right then, but did come home on a hit ball by another player. Not only did God give him an amazing hit but also an opportunity to cross home plate! This made my day. I found his dad and gave him a hug. At the end of the game his son came smiling with the GAME BALL, his coach gave him after the game. In Pastor Eric's sermon, the scripture lesson was about Jesus feeding the 5,000+ with two fish and 5 little loaves. Our lesson was what Jesus said to the disciples: "bring the lunch to me". Bring our meager possible means to solve hurts and needs to Jesus...and truly, our answers and means to solve needs ARE MEAGER. All I could do for this young player's pain was pray. My awesome, all seeing, all caring God bent down and heard my plea. And I wept. On the scale of world events and pain and suffering all around me, my prayer would be insignificant to an uncaring, unloving god. But to Abba, that moment in time for this young boy was ALL IMPORTANT. Suddenly, for me, the filter of Jesus was removed to show His tender compassion. And as I write this, I weep again. Oh, how He loves us.

Three Most Beautiful Words Ever Spoken

THE THREE MOST BEAUTIFUL WORDS EVER SPOKEN - Imagine the satisfaction an artist feels when the last brush stroke is placed; satisfaction an architect feels when the last line is drawn on the plans for a structure; satisfaction a seamstress feels when the last stitch has been sewn on a beautiful garment; satisfaction when an author writes the final word; satisfaction for any creative act, including all of creation. Each of these and any other that may come to mind ends with "It Is Finished" But when Jesus drew His last breath on the cross and spoke "IT IS FINISHED" the foundations of Hell shook and Satan and his demons cringed at the reality of those THREE MOST BEAUTIFUL WORDS EVER SPOKEN. Remember them. ❤

Book Review

Sometimes I chastize myself for enjoying a devotional book so much. It seems that in those readings, I enjoy them more than God's Holy Word. Then, I realize these devotional readings shine a light on scripture and actually bring deeper understanding and appreciation to the Bible. Such is my response to Max Lucado's "It's Not About Me". It is a good thing this is a short book (146 pages) because I underlined so much. For me, Lucado puts !!!!! on God's Word. He collects scripture passages to illustrate a point, then POw! I do one of my many underlines. This is a definite stop and ponder book. And, it is a read again book. Thanks Max!

Behind God's Curtain

Have you ever read something that caused your spirit to respond with joy because of the truth it declared? I am doing a re read of A Layman Looks At The Lamb of God by Phillip Keller (one of my favorite authors) -- first a bit of personal history why the statement I will share with you is so meaningful. I was in drama in high school and I was in a play. So, I'm very familiar with "behind the curtain activity" - the stuff the audience is unaware of. Now, here is Keller's thoughts: "Mankind's need for The Lamb of God did not begin in a Bethlehem stable 2,000 years ago. Neither did "The Lamb of God" himself have His beginning there...The account of His initial entry into the world is but the narrative of that point in time when God, very God, chose TO PART THE STAGE CURTAINS OF HISTORY BEHIND WHICH HE HAD MOVED IN MAJESTY UNDETECTED BY MOST TO STEP OUT ON CENTER STAGE. There in full view...the King of Glory disguised in human form moved amongst men. Here was The Lamb of God...none other than the very person of the eternal God. He was the One who had been in company with the Father before ever the worlds were formed or the planet earth was shaped and fitted for human habitation." End Keller. Begin Gini: It helps me when I have a visual - GOD at work behind the curtain in those times when I wonder where HE is.

Thoughts about Good Friday

My thoughts about Good Friday (God's Friday) The Cross - It seems that often the cross has become a beautiful piece of jewelry...and I have two: One that is so shinny and has black stones at the 4 ends. The other, (my favorite) is not a polished silver, but has a little purple stone in the middle of the cross bars, a ring around the cross and the inscription on the back: "Robin of Locksley". This morning I read the words of the well known hymn "The Old Rugged Cross"...here are a few phrases - "The emblem of suffering and shame"..."that old rugged cross, so despised by the world"..."the old rugged cross, stained with blood so divine, "To the old rugged cross I will ever be true, its shame and reproach gladly bear"..."the dear Lamb of God (Jesus) left His glory above to bear it (the old rugged cross) to dark Calvary". These words certainly paint a different picture. I wonder if my crosses have weakened the message of this hymn. Maybe not...perhaps when I wear them, a conversation about that "old rugged cross" may begin. Today, is a day to contemplate a cross that was old, and rugged, and blood stained. It held the Creator of the world as He bore ALL the evil of the world...and His Father looked away. But, wait! Here comes Easter! ❤

Blessing From Years Past

Charlie shared this on Facebook in 2014 · Driving to church this morning granddaughter said, "Music!" CD started and Grandson said, "We sing that at school!" So we listened to him sing "How Great is Our God" as we went to church. How blessed we are!

Daily Cleansing Prayer

Keep liberating me from my disbelief, discontent, disquiet. So very Amen I pray

Catching A Lizard

Catching a lizard: Over the years I think I have become an expert in catching these cute little critters. So, I thought I'd share my technique. It is helpful if it is hibernation time when you find one in your house. They are lethargic and much easier to catch. Today I found one on the floor in our little guest house. It is important that I keep them outside because sighting one in the bedroom, coming out from under the bed or in the closet or bathroom can give quite a scare. So, here is my method: Get a large glass or clear plastic bowl. Next, and very important get a large piece of cardboard or heavy paper that is larger than the circumference of the bowl. Make sure there is a clear area around the lizard for you to catch it. Carefully put the bowl over the lizard and keep it tight against the floor. Next, carefully slide the large cardboard or paper piece under the lizard, again being mindful to keep a tight seal. Once you have it secured in bowl, carefully turn the bowl over and remove the cardboard. The deeper the bowl the better. It will be too slippery for it to climb out. Take the lizard bowl out side and find a good spot to release the lizard. And, there you have it! Happy lizard and happy home! ❤

An Enemy of God

I was an enemy of God's..."so what" you may be thinking. God is GOD - over all, creator of all and on and on. And little wimpy Gini was His enemy. Big Deal. Yes...it was a big deal. He didn't want me to be His enemy. He pursued me. He called my name. He patiently let me shake my fist in His face. He gave His only Son for me. He decided to give His only Son before I ever drew breath. When my stubborn will finally gave in and I said, "God, I no longer want to be Your enemy", He said, "Welcome daughter" Big Deal? You better believe it...especially since He is STILL patient with my stubborn will. Reminds me of one of my favorite hymns: MOMENT BY MOMENT. The first line reads "Moment by moment I'm kept in His love" And His Word in 1 Peter 1:5 reads "who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time."

My Faith Journey

When my dad heard my mom was pregnant with me in the mid 1940’s he said, “I could have done without that”… not easy news for a man with an 8th grade education, barely making ends meet with three children, one of which had severe physical disabilities. My sense of worthlessness and insecurity were very much the driving forces in my life. And dad’s hot temper and deeply felt emotions were the traits I took as my own. Strange as it may seem, in this ambiguous atmosphere, I knew Dad loved God and was a believer in Jesus. In my mirroring of Dad I wanted his faith but my troubling doubts of value kept me in that state of worthlessness. How could God love this strong willed, explosive, insecure person? I had no peace. In the early years of my married life I attempted to resolve the ambivalence and experienced a spiritual surrender of self to Jesus BUT my rebelliousness kept me wandering. I wanted life my way. So, the doubts of worth continued. The Bible says in Psalm 40 "...He turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along." I began to take these words personally. I began to believe God does care about my day to day existence. Yet, I was SO rebellious. So, God took the initiative. In 1999 – I had a growth in my brain causing life changing health issues. I believe GOD TOUCHED MY BRAIN AND SAID – “I WANT YOUR ATTENTION.” Although the rebellious issues still taunt me, more of His Words keep me centered: Psalm 51:1 “Be gracious to me, God, according to YOUR loving kindness; according to the greatness of YOUR compassion, blot out my wrong doings.” Again and again God’s timing in my life has been impeccable…I am so glad HE took the initiative because in 2005 our son married and in 2008 and 2011 our two grand children were born. What I would be missing if I continued my rebellious wanderings! There are three things that convince me most of God’s love: Our complex universe; the complex design of my mind and body and the moral code I have regarding right and wrong. For me, these needed a creator. And this Creator personally loves me beyond any love I’ve ever known. --- Gini Walker

Our Changing World

Have you ever watched a new house under construction? Here is a story of one I watched. By the end of the work, the house (a remodel) went from 4,000 sq ft to 8,000 sq ft. If I had been shown before and after pictures I would have said, "No way is this the same house." Although some of the original house was still there, it was lost in the changes. Watching the renovation was fascinating. The original plans were constantly being changed. It was obvious the owners were dissatisfied with their original dreams...not big enough, appliances or counters in the wrong place, forgot this, forgot that, just one more window, window on wrong side, need another door, a different kind of door, wider staircase, wider halls, bigger closets, another bedroom, a different entrance to the master suite and on and on. And that was just the interior. We watched frustrated contractors walk in and out with the changes rolled up under their arms. We watched roofing and beautiful bricks go up and come down. When would it end? For me, there are some similarities between this house and our changing world. With change often comes questions - when is enough enough? When is there satisfaction? Who says, "that's it, no more?" Even in my short 70 years on planet earth, I have seen enough change in my country to cause me to say, "This is NOT the same country where I was born." One of the big changes is the inability to voice how I feel about the changes. Not accepting the changes means I'm "intolerant". Voicing my displeasure labels me "judgmental." If I say, there are absolute truths and there are absolute wrongs I am labeled as "narrow minded" and "pious". So as I considered all of this, it has led me to a BIG question I think we should all consider privately so we can be honest with ourselves. Here is the question: as you look at the changes and say to yourself, "I am open minded, no problem...these behaviors are ok...live and let live", can you think of ANY change in relationships, morality, etc. that you would say, NO WAY --- THAT is NOT acceptable? Let your mind take you deep into areas that are scary; deep into areas that you may say, society would NEVER allow that! But, I ask you to consider, why not? The changes I've seen in 70 years are shocking! But if you are teen to 40 or 50 age, you may think---hey it's ok---what's the big deal? Perhaps when YOU are in your 70s + you may be shaking your head, saying "how did we get here?" Are you REALLY willing to say, any thing is ok? If you are young you may think "that radical change is a long way off, we will adjust as we go...not my worry." Don't cop out with a flip attitude. Think! As the saying goes, "If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything."

Grieving In The Season Of Lent

A world that does not admit it's fallen, says "it's just the way things are." A world that will not be redeemed says "it's just the way things will always be." But in a world that is fallen and being redeemed, we will often find ourselves grieving and crying out, "Things are not the way they should be!"

Can God Redeem Life Stories?

Can God redeem life stories? Here I go again with a Max Lucado story. His talented pianist daughter had a "brain freeze" in a recital before a large audience. As I read Max's story I saw my invisible self sitting next to his daughter. It was a well known piece she was playing and she began with ease and perfection. Then for no reason her hands and her mind forgot the next part. Try as she would several times, the notes simply disappeared. FINALLY the next part of her piece came to mind and she finished. But as Max said, the damage was done. After the applause for her courage, she met her dad off stage and buried her head in his arms with a tearful "Oh Daddy"...I wept as I read this and cried out to God, "Oh Abba Father!" Such a sad story that perhaps his daughter wishes he wouldn't tell. But, the story was "redeemed" as I cried out to God "Oh Daddy"...and as often as I have done this through the past months, I am amazed that God NEVER tires of my cry. ❤

GRIEF

Bobbie Karchner Gini Walker I live in Missouri and while I appreciate the idea of snowflakes being beautiful, I also live with the truth of being buried in snow. Sometimes gentle, sometimes overwhelming ... the scene outside my window might look beautiful, but when I pick up the shovel to clear the damage it has done, the truth is clear. Too many of those beautiful snowflakes are heavy. They make the world a difficult place. I am two years out from Gary but lost two friends in December. Been shoveling a lot of grief recently. Gini Walker Bobbie, a phrase I don't like is "I know how you feel" But my dear and precious friend you gave me a word picture of your grief that touched me deeply. I've never lived in snow like that you have described but have seen pictures of what you described. The closest I can come to this is our Santa Ana winds. Just like the troubles of 2020 and 2021 they don't stop. I go out and rake up the mess to "keep up" and try to bring back the peace. But the wind returns, sometimes stronger than before and undoes my efforts. Each time brings with it deep frustration. Each new wind is like a "there, take that you weak and helpless human". So far I have been able to pick up the rake once more. As I type this I am looking at the beauty. But I can also see the tall trees and when they start swaying, my heart sinks with a "oh no, not again". The winds are not beautiful like the snowflakes but like grief, they return again and again. They do allow the blue skies that God created to be glorious so I try to be thankful for that. Thank you Bobbie for sharing your heart. I will remember this always. ❤

Per

Per died on Sunday morning January 10. Charlie cared for Per on many different levels. He was 95 when he died. I only knew him during Per's late 80s and 90s until he passed. As Charlie has prepared for his memorial services in Minnesota and here in Santa Ana, I have gotten to know so much more about him. For one thing, Per was a HANDSOME man when he dated and married Ruth. Per was a proud man, a proud Norwegian and passionate about classical music, especially the piano and violin. He was a brilliant scientist and loved his Lord Jesus. I will miss you Per.

Slow Starts

My engine was cold this morning. My clock by my side of the bed has BIG numbers so I can see the time at night without my glasses: 1:15 A.M., 3:30 A.M., 4:10 A.M., 7:40 A.M. WHAT!?!?!? Even my morning coffee (thanks Charlie) was cold. After a short stint in the microwave, the coffee did its job and moved my cold engine to a slow idle. Next - wake up spirit! I turned to devotional reading for this task. Sometimes my readings fall flat. But this morning (Thanks Max Lucado) my spirit was aroused. Wake up sleeping brain! Here are a couple of his thoughts: Nathanael said to Philip, "Can anything good come from Nazareth?" Philip answered, "Come and see." These amazing words are recording in John 1:46. Max pondered these words and wrote: "Come and see the pierced hand of God touch the most common heart, wipe the tear from the wrinkled face, and forgive the ugliest sin. Come and see. He avoids no seeker. He ignores no probe. He fears no search. Come and see." In another devotion, Max writes: "The quickest way to douse the fire of anger is with a bucket of PRAYER. Rather than rant, rave, or seek revenge, pray. Jesus did this. While hanging on the cross, He interceded for His enemies (Luke 23:34) Jesus, even Jesus left His enemies in God's hands." Why did I share these? You now know what Gini's heart needs and struggles with: Like Nathanael, I need to come and see. And yes, I have anger issues.

from Scotty Smith regarding 2021

No matter the temptations, trials, or traumas of 2021—Jesus is with us and for us. This side of the new heaven and new earth, life won’t be crisis free. But it will never be Christ-absent. We’ll never experience a Christ-less fire, or day. Hallelujah! May Jesus’ beauty, grace, and peace keep us centered, in every season of life—including this season. So very Amen we pray, in his loving and near name.

Re consider and Re connect

I'm currently reading a novel by Amor Towles "A Gentleman In Moscow". In 1922, Count Alexander Rostov, an unrepentant aristocrat was sentenced to house arrest in Moscow. During one of his chance encounters, which didn't go well, he had the opportunity of a do-over when given a note which read "Please allow me a second chance at a first impression". After a bit of time with this individual, the Count concludes: "What can a first impression tell us about anyone? Why, no more than a chord can tell us about Beethoven, or a brushstroke about Botticelli. By their very nature human beings are so capricious, so complex, so delightfully contradictory, that they deserve not only our consideration, but our reconsideration--and our unwavering determination to withhold our opinion until we have engaged with them in every possible setting at every possible hour." WOW! I REALLY like this! In our current climate of intolerance, we could all do well to consider this as we meet, greet and chat with others. ❤

Forever Yours

Words from Scotty Smith 2-23-21 But in a world of dismissive labels, demeaning titles, and “cancel culture,” it is more than enough to know that when you look at us—each of us, you say “You are mine! My righteousness is yours, my desire is for you, my delight is in you. I know you, and I love you.” Lord Jesus, we believe, help our unbelief. We are grateful the Gospel renames, renews, and releases us from old destructive labels—no matter their origin. So very Amen we pray, in your all glorious, all grace-full, every-knee-is-going-to-bow-to name.

Your strength in my weakness

Difficult stories, challenging relationships, chronic neediness, uncontrollable outcomes… these things tax our limits, sabotage our self-sufficiency, and drive us to you again and again. (Scotty Smith 2-19-21) Gini - Chronic pain, sorrow over losses, anger over Washington D.C. BULLIES, fear of loss 2 Cor. 4:7 my clay pot

Wisdom, Far and Near

Long ago, St. Augustine spoke these words: "Thou hast made us for Thyself O God and our hearts are restless until they rest in Thee." In the 17th century philosopher Blaise Pascal said every human being has a God-shaped hole that only God can fill. And in 2020 Greg Asimakoupoulos spoke these words during the COVID pandemic "Prayer is not just saying words to God. It's recognizing that God is aware of what captivates our attention. Prayer is being mindful of One who is capable of reading our minds and redeeming our hearts." And as she contemplates these words, Gini says, "My heart is restless with world stuff...and I can only express deep gratitude for my God who knows and cares about my thoughts before I speak them, and He has redeemed and daily redeems my heart when it is daily filled with world clutter." EVERY DAY IT IS A START OVER EXPERIENCE for me.

SAINTS

God has our days numbered and for those of us left on planet earth, the saints God has called home will be missed. Ty, young man in his 30s, father of 3, good friend to many is one. Rush Limbaugh, voice for conversatives is another. Rest in the arms of our Lord!

Isaiah 40:29-31 - Comments from Scotty Smith

Our loving Father… “does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. “…They who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” Isa. 40:29-31 But I am grateful for the freedom you give us to accept our limitations and humanity—a freedom we need to access more regularly. Most importantly, I’m thankful for what this passage reminds us about you, Father. You’re tireless in your care, everlasting in your mercies, and generous with your grace. You anticipate our weakness and meet us right there. When we get worn-out, you don’t roll your eyes and call us “couch potatoes,” “slackers” or “soft.” Rather, you call us beloved children—daughters of your delight, sons in whom you rejoice.

Proverbs 21:30

Here is a BIG WOW for your moment, hours, day, week, month, year and life: Proverbs 21:30 "There is NO wisdom and NO understanding and NO counsel against the LORD." This is what it looks like in the Message: "NOTHING clever, NOTHING conceived, NOTHING contrived can get the better of GOD." ❤

53 years ago today (February 10, then and now)

February 10, 2018 · Shared with Your friends Friends What's on my mind? 50 years ago! This weekend is my college graduation class 50th reunion. I had a long debate with myself about attending...Knew what I wanted to wear and even told Brian I had to have a haircut before today. Then, I took out my yearbook and looked at the pictures of my class. My grand daughter couldn't even pick out Mimi on one page because I had changed SO much. Well, sure...50 years ago. But then I realized, unfortunately, back then I hadn't connected with many in my class and no doubt some had passed away...and some would choose not to attend. DISAPPOINTMENT became the ringing word in my mind. "Leave the past in the past Gini". So, here I sit at my computer, talking to my NOW friends. Glad I decided to live in the now and simply remember those wonderful days at Cal Baptist College (now a University). Not only have I changed...the campus, etc is unrecognizable but in a good way. GO LANCERS! ❤ OK You all are not going to believe this...I turned on the TV today and it was already on a channel for college basketball...and you guessed it. The homecoming game played at CBU/CBC last night that I didn't go to was playing. It was Cal Baptist against Biola. There was still half of the game left to be played. So, sitting on my comfy couch in my comfy clothes, I got to watch 1/2 the game I missed by not going to homecoming. CRAZY! I didn't know they were on TV now. And during the commercial break, the campus, students, etc were shown and all I could do was say to myself, "That's my Alma Mater" "That's my Alma Mater". ❤

No Longer An Enemy

I was an enemy of God's..."so what" you may be thinking. God is GOD - over all, creator of all and on and on. And little wimpy Gini was His enemy. Big Deal. Yes...it was a big deal. He didn't want me to be His enemy. He pursued me. He called my name. He patiently let me shake my fist in His face. He gave His only Son for me. He decided to give His only Son before I ever drew breath. When my stubborn will finally gave in and I said, "God, I no longer want to be Your enemy", He said, "Welcome daughter" Big Deal? You better believe it...especially since He is STILL patient with my stubborn will. Reminds me of one of my favorite hymns: MOMENT BY MOMENT. The first line reads "Moment by moment I'm kept in His love" And His Word in 1 Peter 1:5 reads "who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time."

El Shaddai

A thorn in the flesh. Have you ever had one? I have. If it was in the bottom of your foot and you are an active person, no doubt that thorn was many things: an annoyance, a constant reminder of living with pain, many questions about what do you do with it, etc. That thorn in the flesh can be small and relatively easy to deal with or HUGE and life threatening. But whatever it might be, here are Paul's words about his thorn "I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. BUT HE SAID TO ME, 'MY GRACE IS SUFFICIENT FOR YOU, FOR MY POWER IS MADE PERFECT IN WEAKNESS.'" 2 Corinthians 12: 7-9 NIV These words can bring comforting or "Oh No" feelings. Take it away Paul prayed three times we know of and you may have prayed this a zillion times. Regardless, Paul turns our focus from the thorn to God's grace. It is a SPECIAL grace - sufficient SUSTAINING grace. God is our EL SHADDAI. El-Shaddai, El-Shaddai, El-Elyon na Adonai Age to age You're still the same By the power of the name El-Shaddai, El-Shaddai, Erkahmka na Adonai I will praise You till I die, El-Shaddai (Amy Grant's El-Shaddai)

In All Kinds of Weather---"There is something about that Name (Jesus)"

Wrote the following several years ago --- I had to drive somewhere this morning. As I pulled out of the garage, it began to hail. All the way down the streets I watched the water cover much of the road as the rain pounded my windshield. Keep focused I kept telling myself. Then the words of a song came to mind. These words seemed so appropriate for today's weather and the events of last week. They kept me calm and they became my focus. Here they are: "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. There's just something about that name. Master...Savior...Jesus...like the fragrance after the rain. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. Let all heaven and earth proclaim. Kings and kingdoms will all pass away. But there's something about that name." ❤

God and President Trump

On Jan 19 Scotty Smith wrote: "We fear you, Father, and honor President Trump, as we thank you for what you were sovereignly pleased to do of lasting worth through his presidency. Bless him, and his family, as they transition into the next season of life. So very Amen we pray, in Jesus’ glorious and grace-full name." I am so appreciative for these words that acknowledge the work of God in and through President Trump.

EARTHLY GRIEF NEVER ENDS

Seven years ago on January 15th, Kelsi's mom died unexpectantly. Since then, Januarys are difficult and painful months for Kelsi. She wrote that year that she can't imagine life without her mom. They were SO close. I want to remain sensitive to Kelsi's grieving and express special love to her each January.

Steven Curtis Chapman - BE STILL AND KNOW

When I was a Steven Ministry Leader at Trinity I led several retreats for Leaders. My favorite is #10"Renewing Our Connections". I did a power point presentation of pictures with Chapman's song. It is awesome. Charlie helped me make the slides and do the timing of pictures with the song. I researched my documents today, found it, played it and worshiped GOD. Praise HIM for all He has done.

Be Encouraged

Do you ever ask yourself, "What can I do for others during these unsettling days?" How about ENCOURAGE. Scotty Smith's 1-16-21 Heavenward "More Than A Peaceful Easy Feeling" devotional helped me this morning. So I pass a few of his words on to you: "Today, we use familiar words to direct our hearts heavenward and neighbor-ward. Known as the “Serenity Prayer,” it’s really a Gospel Prayer—a prayer of grace, perspective, and peace. “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.” – Lord Jesus, acceptance of things (and people) we can’t change isn’t acquiescence; it’s wisdom and freedom. It’s not shrugging our shoulders in resignation; it’s lifting our hands to you in worship and waiting."" Check out the rest of Scotty's thoughts and take a look at John 16:33 for Jesus' words of encouragement. BE ENCOURAGED! (from my 1-16-21 Facebook post)

Waiting...

These are Scotty Smith's timely words that describe me to a "T". Spirit-Groaning and Trust-Filled Waiting SCOTTY SMITH “We who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly…” Rom. 8:32 Lord Jesus, we live with a relentless ache for peace. In the past several months, this ache has been fertilized with the “messes” in this world and the Spirit of hope. As Paul said, we “groan eagerly.”

UNENDING AWE AND WONDER

Gini Walker December 7, 2016 Meditating on the essence of GOD --- During this Advent season of 2016, I attempted to describe the essence of GOD. Here is what I wrote in my gratitude journal: YOU - YHWH Exceedingly, abundantly beyond beyond x a zillion --- and this doesn't begin to describe your essence - INFINITY - no beginning and no end. As a writer, I often experience frustration with words - those times when I can't find the ones I want, as I search in my "word box"... my thesaurus helps me in those times... but not now. And, I am so glad! I will NEVER find the words to describe the awe and wonder and majesty of GOD. He knew before time began on this planet that I would (in stumbling, incorrect grammar and sentence structure) write this...HE knew every sinful thought and action of my life. Yet, HE came as a baby, lived sinless and died in my place to restore me to this essence of love I can't describe. I am totally astounded. ❤

A Saint Changing His Address

On early Sunday morning, January 10, 2021 Mr. Per Larssen changed his address from earth to heaven. God called him home and what joy for Per to be in the presence of our Lord Jesus. I try to imagine this but it is hard. I think about scripture that speaks of being present with HIM. Per, we will miss you. You were a gentle, gentleman. I loved your Norwegian accent. Thank you for being a great friend to Charlie. He loved you dearly. You will be missed. Charlie and Gini

Family of Faith

Thank you ABBA FATHER, for brothers and sisters in my family of faith who speak the truth of Your Holy Word to encourage, remind and direct me to YOU. Amen

Epiphany

Christian celebration of the Wise Men, after following the Star, finding Jesus. 12th day of Christmas. Light of Light, King of Kings. On this day in history of America and all of our strife, LORD Jesus, help me to remember your coming in history and your return in the future. HALLELUJAH!