Quieting My Soul

Time with Abba and Jesus and the Holy Spirit refreshed and quieted my soul.  
                     No fanfare.  No rituals.

Who Am I Fooling?

Sometimes, like right now, I feel like if I were at the end of life, waiting to enter heaven and I came face to face with Jesus, He would say to me "You may have had everyone fooled, but you didn't fool me.  I know your heart.  I know your self-centered thoughts.  I know your doubts.  I know your anger.  You are not worthy to come into my Kingdom."  But, Jesus...I asked you into my heart.  I confessed to you.  I, I, I, I etc etc etc. And He will turn me away.

My "faith" is such a roller coaster.  I have the most amazing, awesome times "with God".  Then, I am DEPRESSED, like now!!!  I keep reading help books about the Christian life --- what it is SUPPOSED to look and sound like.  I strive for that.  I want to be real with Jesus (so I say).

Then I have moments like now. I come home from Bible study.  I am so tired!  I know the self-centered thoughts I had.  I just can't seem to escape ME.  Everywhere I go, I am there!  Right now I feel like Sunday morning worship is SO FLAT.  We "do" church.  The music is nice.  The sermons are usually "good"  I think the people are so special.  But, as I think about it now, I think, "where was Jesus?"  We have a worship guide.  How strange is that!  Why do we have to have a guide?  I feel like we "do church" and at the end of life Jesus will look at us and say, "you had everyone fooled, but you didn't fool me"  I HATE this dark place of thinking.  I just don't want to hear Jesus say that to me.

Falling Deeper with God

Yesterday I had a NASTY fall in the backyard --- the first ever in the 22 years here.

I was going up the little walk to the guest house and I had just past the playground area.  There was a garden hose stretched out over the brick walk and I tripped.  Amazing how time seems to go into slow-motion.  As I was going down on brick and dirt I knew it was bad and quickly called out to Jesus.  I was home alone and my cell phone was in the house.  I'll be so glad when the images of my fall leave my memory.  It was the scariest moments of my life as I waited to hit the ground.  After hitting, I laid still for a few moments in horrible pain.  I didn't hit the top of my head but did scrape my nose and jaw...so I was conscious.  I decided I needed to try and move and see if anything was broken.  By God's grace nothing was.  So I managed to sit up and I started screaming for about 5 minutes "HELP!:  On Saturday mornings many folks are gone and our neighbors behind us were the closest for me to yell to.  So I continued but nothing.  I decided I couldn't stay there without help so I scooted on my bottom to the grass area and decided to try and stand.  I was able to make my painful walk to the back door and into the house to get my phone.  Charlie was in Anaheim with Kelsi and Landon for a game and Brian was at home.  So I called him and in about 10 minutes he was here.  In the meantime I decided to try calling my neighbor.  She was home and came right over.  The two of them assessed my injuries (scraped up left elbow, scraped hands and face, bad scrap on my right knee and worst was my right shoulder - no cuts but A LOT of pain.  I was good enough for just first aid and knew by my ability to move that nothing was broken.  All day yesterday I took Tylenol for pain and put cold compresses on my shoulder.  I am beyond deep gratitude for God's protection.  If I had fallen while walking down, gravity would have worked against me.  In the afternoon I found a sturdy ribbon I could attach to my cell phone case and now I wear it around my neck and shoulder.  Many of the pants I wear do not have pockets.

I'm currently reading the book ASTONISHED: Recapturing the Wonder, Awe and Mystery of Life with God by Pastor Mike Erre.  He calls Christians away from simplistic formulas to honest and rugged faith in our mysterious and unpredictable God.  God is more about deepening the mystery of faith, not removing it.  Jesus should get bigger the longer we walk with Him.  (These words are the book review with the book)  Again I am amazed that God is choosing for me to live out what I am reading. Chat later. xoxo Gin (Scoot)

Lightening

October 24, 2016 ·

An amazing display of God's glorious power this morning. I sat in the dark of our living room with a glass wall facing North. The lightening strikes over the ocean to the west and to the north of us led me to read God's responses to Job's complaints. God's power left Job speechless "...I lay my hand upon my mouth in silence..." I, too, am speechless. The storms spoke loud and clear.

Praying Over Onesimus House Guests

As the years have past, we have experienced great joy in our connections.  The joy has come not only from offering O.H. but mostly through praying over our guests.  Not sure if you know -------------------.  They have had a number of come and go times of late and praying for them has become part of our routine. 

That said, we would like to hear from you regarding your "general" reasons for coming---ie meetings, vacation, R and R, ministry connections, times of reflection/guidance with God, etc.  As you can see, your sharing doesn't have to be deeply personal because as Charlie and I would pray over your needs we can do so, knowing God already knows ALL your needs.  It blesses us immensely to be a part of the lives of our guests through prayer.  So, let us know.

Correct Submission

From 1 Peter study TWOC

Submit willingly to those in authority and leadership, not because we are powerless or weak, but out of Christ-like meekness and strength under control, allowing our actions to shout the gospel!

Still Pondering The Wonder of It All...

Still in pondering wonder of it all...

I've thought about our God sightings that Charlie and I experienced and the evidence of His "only God can do" details and circumstances coming together.  I've been reminded of times I have watched a music conductor with his baton as he directed a massive orchestra playing a beautiful piece of music. 

No one knew the music like the conductor.  He knew every note.  And, each member of the orchestra knew this about him. Each member trusted him to bring their instrument into the music at the exact perfect moment.  Not before.  Not after.  But at that exact point.  He would also control the tempo and prolong a note or shorten a note that always brought perfection to each moment of sound.  And when the last note was played, the audience cheered and applauded.

There are so many human examples of God's Holy work.  A tapestry.  Hope where there shouldn't be hope.  Close calls in our comings and goings.  Miracles. Loving words of encouragement from others.  Below, I've highlighted your words to me that I put on my worship blog:

SHEPHERD WORDS FROM ERIC K (response to my email)

God's heart is bigger than mine for those I love. In our hands we embrace others with loving concern and sometimes we hold too tight in fear. God is the author of your family's stories and we know what kind of stories He writes for all those who are His.  During my sermon prep I came across this quote about what happens when we are tested by struggle (within and without) - "Faith is purified, love is intensified, grace is tasted as we are tested." Don't we wish the testing would be over after x amount of years!! Yet God's love is too holy and strong for Him to stop purifying our trust in Him. I am praying you run to God for refuge. Sometimes it just seems so hard to do this - but I encourage you to do it. He is altogether and always safe.  The bumbling, stumbling saints in all our awkward attempts to love are the body of Christ to enfold you and remind you Jesus Christ came to save sinners.

Mmmmm to taste GRACE.  Psalm 34 in our Call To Worship  "O taste and see that the LORD is good. How blessed is the man who takes refuge in HIM!."