GRIEF

Bobbie Karchner Gini Walker I live in Missouri and while I appreciate the idea of snowflakes being beautiful, I also live with the truth of being buried in snow. Sometimes gentle, sometimes overwhelming ... the scene outside my window might look beautiful, but when I pick up the shovel to clear the damage it has done, the truth is clear. Too many of those beautiful snowflakes are heavy. They make the world a difficult place. I am two years out from Gary but lost two friends in December. Been shoveling a lot of grief recently. Gini Walker Bobbie, a phrase I don't like is "I know how you feel" But my dear and precious friend you gave me a word picture of your grief that touched me deeply. I've never lived in snow like that you have described but have seen pictures of what you described. The closest I can come to this is our Santa Ana winds. Just like the troubles of 2020 and 2021 they don't stop. I go out and rake up the mess to "keep up" and try to bring back the peace. But the wind returns, sometimes stronger than before and undoes my efforts. Each time brings with it deep frustration. Each new wind is like a "there, take that you weak and helpless human". So far I have been able to pick up the rake once more. As I type this I am looking at the beauty. But I can also see the tall trees and when they start swaying, my heart sinks with a "oh no, not again". The winds are not beautiful like the snowflakes but like grief, they return again and again. They do allow the blue skies that God created to be glorious so I try to be thankful for that. Thank you Bobbie for sharing your heart. I will remember this always. ❤

Per

Per died on Sunday morning January 10. Charlie cared for Per on many different levels. He was 95 when he died. I only knew him during Per's late 80s and 90s until he passed. As Charlie has prepared for his memorial services in Minnesota and here in Santa Ana, I have gotten to know so much more about him. For one thing, Per was a HANDSOME man when he dated and married Ruth. Per was a proud man, a proud Norwegian and passionate about classical music, especially the piano and violin. He was a brilliant scientist and loved his Lord Jesus. I will miss you Per.

Slow Starts

My engine was cold this morning. My clock by my side of the bed has BIG numbers so I can see the time at night without my glasses: 1:15 A.M., 3:30 A.M., 4:10 A.M., 7:40 A.M. WHAT!?!?!? Even my morning coffee (thanks Charlie) was cold. After a short stint in the microwave, the coffee did its job and moved my cold engine to a slow idle. Next - wake up spirit! I turned to devotional reading for this task. Sometimes my readings fall flat. But this morning (Thanks Max Lucado) my spirit was aroused. Wake up sleeping brain! Here are a couple of his thoughts: Nathanael said to Philip, "Can anything good come from Nazareth?" Philip answered, "Come and see." These amazing words are recording in John 1:46. Max pondered these words and wrote: "Come and see the pierced hand of God touch the most common heart, wipe the tear from the wrinkled face, and forgive the ugliest sin. Come and see. He avoids no seeker. He ignores no probe. He fears no search. Come and see." In another devotion, Max writes: "The quickest way to douse the fire of anger is with a bucket of PRAYER. Rather than rant, rave, or seek revenge, pray. Jesus did this. While hanging on the cross, He interceded for His enemies (Luke 23:34) Jesus, even Jesus left His enemies in God's hands." Why did I share these? You now know what Gini's heart needs and struggles with: Like Nathanael, I need to come and see. And yes, I have anger issues.

from Scotty Smith regarding 2021

No matter the temptations, trials, or traumas of 2021—Jesus is with us and for us. This side of the new heaven and new earth, life won’t be crisis free. But it will never be Christ-absent. We’ll never experience a Christ-less fire, or day. Hallelujah! May Jesus’ beauty, grace, and peace keep us centered, in every season of life—including this season. So very Amen we pray, in his loving and near name.

Re consider and Re connect

I'm currently reading a novel by Amor Towles "A Gentleman In Moscow". In 1922, Count Alexander Rostov, an unrepentant aristocrat was sentenced to house arrest in Moscow. During one of his chance encounters, which didn't go well, he had the opportunity of a do-over when given a note which read "Please allow me a second chance at a first impression". After a bit of time with this individual, the Count concludes: "What can a first impression tell us about anyone? Why, no more than a chord can tell us about Beethoven, or a brushstroke about Botticelli. By their very nature human beings are so capricious, so complex, so delightfully contradictory, that they deserve not only our consideration, but our reconsideration--and our unwavering determination to withhold our opinion until we have engaged with them in every possible setting at every possible hour." WOW! I REALLY like this! In our current climate of intolerance, we could all do well to consider this as we meet, greet and chat with others. ❤

Forever Yours

Words from Scotty Smith 2-23-21 But in a world of dismissive labels, demeaning titles, and “cancel culture,” it is more than enough to know that when you look at us—each of us, you say “You are mine! My righteousness is yours, my desire is for you, my delight is in you. I know you, and I love you.” Lord Jesus, we believe, help our unbelief. We are grateful the Gospel renames, renews, and releases us from old destructive labels—no matter their origin. So very Amen we pray, in your all glorious, all grace-full, every-knee-is-going-to-bow-to name.

Your strength in my weakness

Difficult stories, challenging relationships, chronic neediness, uncontrollable outcomes… these things tax our limits, sabotage our self-sufficiency, and drive us to you again and again. (Scotty Smith 2-19-21) Gini - Chronic pain, sorrow over losses, anger over Washington D.C. BULLIES, fear of loss 2 Cor. 4:7 my clay pot

Wisdom, Far and Near

Long ago, St. Augustine spoke these words: "Thou hast made us for Thyself O God and our hearts are restless until they rest in Thee." In the 17th century philosopher Blaise Pascal said every human being has a God-shaped hole that only God can fill. And in 2020 Greg Asimakoupoulos spoke these words during the COVID pandemic "Prayer is not just saying words to God. It's recognizing that God is aware of what captivates our attention. Prayer is being mindful of One who is capable of reading our minds and redeeming our hearts." And as she contemplates these words, Gini says, "My heart is restless with world stuff...and I can only express deep gratitude for my God who knows and cares about my thoughts before I speak them, and He has redeemed and daily redeems my heart when it is daily filled with world clutter." EVERY DAY IT IS A START OVER EXPERIENCE for me.

SAINTS

God has our days numbered and for those of us left on planet earth, the saints God has called home will be missed. Ty, young man in his 30s, father of 3, good friend to many is one. Rush Limbaugh, voice for conversatives is another. Rest in the arms of our Lord!

Isaiah 40:29-31 - Comments from Scotty Smith

Our loving Father… “does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. “…They who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” Isa. 40:29-31 But I am grateful for the freedom you give us to accept our limitations and humanity—a freedom we need to access more regularly. Most importantly, I’m thankful for what this passage reminds us about you, Father. You’re tireless in your care, everlasting in your mercies, and generous with your grace. You anticipate our weakness and meet us right there. When we get worn-out, you don’t roll your eyes and call us “couch potatoes,” “slackers” or “soft.” Rather, you call us beloved children—daughters of your delight, sons in whom you rejoice.

Proverbs 21:30

Here is a BIG WOW for your moment, hours, day, week, month, year and life: Proverbs 21:30 "There is NO wisdom and NO understanding and NO counsel against the LORD." This is what it looks like in the Message: "NOTHING clever, NOTHING conceived, NOTHING contrived can get the better of GOD." ❤

53 years ago today (February 10, then and now)

February 10, 2018 · Shared with Your friends Friends What's on my mind? 50 years ago! This weekend is my college graduation class 50th reunion. I had a long debate with myself about attending...Knew what I wanted to wear and even told Brian I had to have a haircut before today. Then, I took out my yearbook and looked at the pictures of my class. My grand daughter couldn't even pick out Mimi on one page because I had changed SO much. Well, sure...50 years ago. But then I realized, unfortunately, back then I hadn't connected with many in my class and no doubt some had passed away...and some would choose not to attend. DISAPPOINTMENT became the ringing word in my mind. "Leave the past in the past Gini". So, here I sit at my computer, talking to my NOW friends. Glad I decided to live in the now and simply remember those wonderful days at Cal Baptist College (now a University). Not only have I changed...the campus, etc is unrecognizable but in a good way. GO LANCERS! ❤ OK You all are not going to believe this...I turned on the TV today and it was already on a channel for college basketball...and you guessed it. The homecoming game played at CBU/CBC last night that I didn't go to was playing. It was Cal Baptist against Biola. There was still half of the game left to be played. So, sitting on my comfy couch in my comfy clothes, I got to watch 1/2 the game I missed by not going to homecoming. CRAZY! I didn't know they were on TV now. And during the commercial break, the campus, students, etc were shown and all I could do was say to myself, "That's my Alma Mater" "That's my Alma Mater". ❤

No Longer An Enemy

I was an enemy of God's..."so what" you may be thinking. God is GOD - over all, creator of all and on and on. And little wimpy Gini was His enemy. Big Deal. Yes...it was a big deal. He didn't want me to be His enemy. He pursued me. He called my name. He patiently let me shake my fist in His face. He gave His only Son for me. He decided to give His only Son before I ever drew breath. When my stubborn will finally gave in and I said, "God, I no longer want to be Your enemy", He said, "Welcome daughter" Big Deal? You better believe it...especially since He is STILL patient with my stubborn will. Reminds me of one of my favorite hymns: MOMENT BY MOMENT. The first line reads "Moment by moment I'm kept in His love" And His Word in 1 Peter 1:5 reads "who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time."