Memory and Grief

I posted this to a friend grieving the loss of her husband:

The way of grief seems to be a special wiring with our memory...I know what I experienced is NO WAY like what you have experienced but I remember when Brian at age 15 was gone for a year to Australia as an exchange student. Jon Secada's song: "Just Another Day" would hit me SO hard. I knew he was returning but still the words of missing him were almost more than I could bare. 

Marking In My Bible

Do you think of the disciple Thomas as a wimp?  His comment about not believing Jesus was alive until he saw and touched Jesus' nailed scarred hands gave him the name "Doubting Thomas".  I can relate.  When people quote special promises from Scripture about God's love and care I always want to read these words for myself.  Of late I've been on this quest. Today, I found many beautiful words about God and His love and I underlined the words and then put the references in the front of my Bible and marked with a big * and wrote "my assurances".  In these days of turmoil, these words are comforting "I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you." Psalm 119:11...Jesus did say, "blessed are those who believe without seeing me."  I don't want to be a doubting Thomas but His Word in my heart and marked in my Bible sure help my trembling faith.  Here are a few of my assurances: II Chronicles 7:14, Jeremiah 3:12, Hebrews 4:14-16, Isaiah 55:6-9, 1 John 1:9, Hebrews 7:24-28, Psalm 63:1-8 +++

Me and Brian

My heart is so heavy this morning...I'm feeling like shouting "ENOUGH!"  Sunday afternoon was our weekly gathering over at Brian and Kelsi's neighbors (gathering spread out on the drive way)  My daughter in law, Kelsi had sent a text earlier in the day asking if we could come early for some private family time.  My response to her was "yes, and I want to give and receive hugs" I didn't know at the time that God was preparing my heart.  Up until then I had been keeping my distance, even with my family - the four of them, just blowing them kisses and hugs.  NO MORE!!!  As I walked up their walkway my son, Brian came out moving toward me quickly and took hold of me and wept and wept and wept as he hugged me.  I talked "mother comforting words" over him and held on tightly for as long as he needed.  This morning Kelsi sent a thank you text saying in all the years of marriage, she has never seen Brian so broken.  It turns out that on Saturday, their neighbor directly across the street collapsed on his walkway and died of a heart attack.  Brian and Kelsi were with him when the paramedics arrived.  The man lived alone and died alone, except for his two dogs that wouldn't leave his side until Brian and Kelsi took them so he could be attended by the paramedics.  Brian wrote on his social media page that we don't know when a touch from a loved one will be the last.  I am so deeply concerned for Brian.  He has been struggling deeply with the closure of his business and isolation.  Yesterday when I was talking to him privately he said, the current situation in America is constantly on his mind.

Brian wrote on Facebook:

Who thinks touch is healing? How many miracles did Jesus perform by touch? In fact, Jesus had a woman touch his clothes to try and get healed.
This makes me reflect on what I experienced yesterday with my neighbor dying. It really shook me up. My parents came over today and the first thing I did, after 7 weeks of distance, was hug my mom and I broke down. Why? For me and my mom it was healing. Who knows, this could be the last time we ever get this opportunity? Do we let that opportunity pass?
For those that know me I used to cut hair. I'll never forget the message given in cosmetology school. You are getting a license to touch people. How many hair stylists out there also double as a therapist? We have a unique opportunity to be a part of the healing process for many.
Why do I bring this up? Keep this in mind. This is not meant to be political. Regardless of motive, we are being desensitized. We are told to stay inside. We are told to keep our distance. We are told not to touch. We are told to cover our face. We are told to stay away from parents and grandparents. We are not allowed to fellowship in our churches or communities. Our salons and spas are closed. The is no more touch.
What is this doing to us inside? What is this doing to our families and the ones we love?
Another neighbor of mine who also lives by herself is scared beyond belief about this virus. She has definitely kept her distance. After the passing of our neighbor the first thing she asks of my wife is what, a hug! Why? Is it healing? Is it comforting? Is that what community and family is all about?
So again, is touch healing?

Pastor Encouragement in Pandemic

Pastor's Note

As we continue on in what has become a much lengthier and challenging crisis than anyone imagined at the start, you might be getting weary and, at times, feel like you are losing heart. I know this describes my experience. Though we probably share much in common, everyone's weariness is a bit different. Some are growing very weary of social distancing, others are weary that they can't distance themselves from those they are quarantined with! Some are growing weary of the stay at home "rules", others are weary of those breaking the "rules". Some of us are losing heart because of an uncertain future, others are losing heart at a more certain "present" as sin and conflict in relationships are revealed. All of us are losing heart as we look back at almost two months of cancellations and postponements. While I am so thankful for how technology connects us, I am growing weary of livestreams and zoom meetings.

In this week's CBR readings, we've been looking at the letter of 2 Corinthians. In Chapters 3 and 4, Paul describes what keeps him from giving up in a world of suffering and difficulty.

He doesn't give up because of the freedom we have in coming to Jesus as we are - nothing to hide. (3:17) In fact, only when we come with nothing to hide (no veil) can we experience Jesus and His transforming love for us.

He is confident in the transforming work of the Holy Spirit who makes us more like Jesus - often most powerfully in our struggles/suffering (3:18)

He doesn't give up because the God who created all things shines the light of his presence into our darkness and suffering. We may not be promised a painless life but we are promised the satisfying presence (the glorious "face of Jesus") (4:1-6)

He doesn't give up because we don't look to ourselves for strength to endure or power to preserve. The power is from God. He keeps going knowing he's only a clay jar - ordinary and unremarkable. It is the gospel that has extraordinary power - especially for those who come to the "the end of their rope". (2 Cor. 4:7-9)

He doesn't give up because he remembers the tension of living in the already-not yet kingdom. Suffering will come but God will not leave us crushed, despairing, abandoned or destroyed (4:8-9)

He keeps going when he is weary because he remembers the death-resurrection pattern of the gospel. The things that must die, the losses we must bear, the pain we will feel will all moves deeper into the resurrection life of Christ - as the life of Jesus is revealed through our weakness and as the resurrection life of Jesus becomes fully ours in the new creation. (4:10-15).

Paul doesn't give up because he remembers he is not living for success, for the approval of others, for the maximum comfort he can achieve in this world but for the glory of God (4:15).

Paul endures weariness remembering tomorrow's grace doesn't "transfer" to today. We need (and are given, even when we don't feel it) day by day renewal of our inner man. (4:16)

Paul doesn't give up as he weighs the sufferings of this "moment" against the incomparable glory of eternity. He focuses on what can't be seen (the really real) instead of the what can be seen (that changes, that fades, that only gives the illusion of a pain free path in life). (4:18)

I wrote all that out for myself! I know a few of you really needed to hear it now and others of you will need it in the future. As we get weary and wonder, "When will it end?" "What lies on the other side of all this?" - we can remember on the other side of any/all suffering, waiting and weariness we endure in this life there is a God who is remaking us in his image and who will one day welcome us into the renewal of all things.

Love in Christ, 
Eric K

Lizards Are One Of God's Creatures

CATCHING A LIZARD - I like lizards. We have many on our property. And that is fine with me - until one gets in our house. Over the years I have caught at least four...and because I do it all by myself (funny that Charlie is never home when I find one) and have done it without harm to the lizards, this makes me an expert! So here is my #1 2020 lizard story. Jackson (our little dog) starts growling and looking at the hallway table. Next to it is a coat rack with my neck scarfs and it appears that is why he is growling. After my attempt to reassure him, I see a lizard, hiding behind the table leg close to the wall. "WHAT TO DO" I ask myself. First, remove Jackson. Next, isolate the lizard and make barriers to keep him in the hallway. This step calls for ingenuity but I did it. Next, get my "lizard bowl". This bowl is a large see through salad bowl that works great because I can pop it over the lizard and also watch him and know he is safe. Next, get a large piece of sturdy paper to place on the floor under the lizard. Now, I can lift up the bowl and carry outside. It didn't go as smoothly as other catches because something fell off the table and scared the lizard who ran toward me and FREAKED me out!...couldn't find him so I decided to have Jackson help me find him. IMPORTANT - leave the barriers in place. After searching the hall closet and living room I found him at the front door. It was as if he knew how he got in and wanted OUT the same way. So, once again the lizard bowl was used...lizard caught, trapped and Charlie arrived just in time to take him outside to the plants. <3

Word Picture of Losing a Loved One

The attending doctor called a couple of hours later and I could not comprehend his words, “Come now. He’s dying.” Even now, six weeks later, those words cut through me; they sear my soul.
The next two hours were without equal in my life. I have never experienced emotional pain and loss to that extent and I pray I never will again. I’ve never sobbed that way - huge, wracking, choking sobs. I was kneeling in the big chair by his bed and leaning over trying to hold him. I kept brushing his hair back from his head and pleading with him to not go. How selfish to beg him to stay here facing so much pain when God was calling him to be pain free and with Him forever.
Shannon came just a few minutes after her dad left us. I was so sad she hadn’t really gotten to say goodbye. If only they had let us stay with him. Chad was in Winchester and didn’t make it until that evening. We just never dreamed that we would be losing him that day. I am grateful that the doctor called me and I was there at what was the end for me but, for Rob, a wonderful beginning.

Second reading of The Harbinger

Yesterday I finished my second reading of The Harbinger.  Because of our current world wide status with The Virus, this reading was challenging.  And, now that I am finished, I am challenged about what I am to do with what I read.  Two messages in the book: RETURN, America to God and be personally responsible for sharing the Good News of Jesus with those I know.