Our Backyard

Our backyard reminds me of our society -- it "hums" with activity...Birds who are busy providing for their families; the bully mockingbird who sits high and yells his loud threats, the mourning doves with their soothing morning "coo coo coo", the hawk on the prowl, the forever scavenger black birds, the hummingbirds who spread beauty & move like a teenager high on life, and of course our ladies, the chickens!

PARCHED SOULS

My soul is dry. It feels parched. I am so tired of speeches. I am so tired of opinions (mine included). There is a deep longing in my soul. This morning I discovered what it is. One of my favorite authors Max Lucado has a devotional book called "It's Not About Me". I am just beginning my reading. But as is typical of Lucado, I don't have to read far before I am struck with relational feelings. Here are his opening words to chapter 3: "Moses asked to see it on Sinai. It billowed through the temple, leaving priests too stunned to minister. When Ezekiel saw it, he had to bow. It encircled the angels and starstruck the shepherds in the Bethlehem pasture. Jesus radiates it. John beheld it. Peter witnessed it on Transfiguration Hill. Christ will return enthroned in it. Heaven will be illuminated by it. One glimpse, one taste, one sampling, and (our) faith will never be the same... GLORY... GOD'S GLORY" Reminds me of Pastor Eric's sermon in part about Jesus' transfiguration. I often go to the cross. Maybe I need also to go to Mt. Transfiguration. I read Lucado's remarks on July 20th 2016 So 5 years later I still have a parched soul. Go to the Living Water, Gini Current thoughts: I'm still processing the anger, etc regarding the last baseball game. The route between Brian's house and ours takes us by the little league field. I want to look away. I think I can tell you the following because I am eliminating the details. The action the Little League Tournament Committee in Williamsport, PA took was against all managers and coaches. They went a step further. They said the coaches of TWLL are suspended from any further connection with baseball for an indefinite period of time. This breaks my heart regarding Brian. I know who he is. He was unable for a period of time to separate being a dad and being a coach. It cost him dearly. Those at TWLL who know and respect him are shocked. The pain and anger in me seems to spread like a thin layer of tar. It is sticky and hot and black. I was fooled into thinking the baseball fields were a safe place. Indeed, Satan is like a roaring lion roaming the earth, seeking those he can devour. A warning: wear your armor.

ARROGANCE

Arrogance is easy to see and find. Arrogance wants to be seen and heard. But it tries to disguise itself behind kindness, friendliness and unselfishness. Once the blow of intended injury has been inflicted the phony acts of kindness will begin. When the injured party cannot accept the "kindness" then the arrogant one can point at the injured party and claim "rejection" and then intensify the acts of antagonizing insulting taunts of superiority, lording over the injured one. The injured one cries for justice which does not always come. The Thesaurus uses the following words for ARROGANT: over-bearing pride, haughtiness, assurance, presummption, pretension, loftiness, imperiousness, vanity, conceit, egoism, bluster, swagger, insolence, dissdain, contempt, scorn and lordliness. And why am I writing this on my worship blog now? My precious family experienced the brunt of ARROGANCEE during and after the TWLL vs Villa Park district championship little league game on Saturday, July 10th. My soul is crying out for JUSTICE! As I am processing the events of the ugly game and pain that came as a result, I am having the book Cry Of The Soul help me process. It is a look at unrighteous anger vs righteous anger. Am I moving toward God to have Him help me with my anger or am I moving away from Him? As I reflect back on the game, it seems like and feels like Satan raised his ugly head and swaggered about with glee that he won the battle. As I had dressed for the game I had chosen to wear a necklace that held colors like a rainbow. And I felt like it was my visible connection with God. I felt He had promised me (although He hadn't) to say "Yes" to my request that we win the game. I told Charlie God had spoken to my heart (like the 2nd game prayer for Maddox) and said "relax Gini, I've got this. When we lost, I immediately reached up and tore the necklace from my neck and threw it in my purse. I was SO ANGRY ... angry at God. He let me down (I thought). The loss was painful. But the swagger of ARROGANCE that seem to circle again and again around us hurt so very, very much. Charlie and I found out that there is a movement of parents wanting justice who are calling out to the over-seers of the tournment. Letters have been written and now we wait. This season of life with so much anger, hurt and injustice in America seems the perfect stage for our parents of TWLL coming together and saying "NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The cry for justice seems to come from deep within as the good and decent say we will put into action our need for justice. On a personal level, I was reminded of an article to be published in the August magazine of FaithOnEveryCorner that I forgot about. It is called WAITING. A sad update on this story: The manager of the opposing team was reinstated so he could continue to manage his team as it continued to play in the tournament. Brian? Who knows about his future in little league. BUT, in a conversation I had with him about this, he basically said he is "over this" and is moving on. I am not there yet. But I am moving toward God now, more than way. ARROGANCE. Is this a subject to share about in FOEC Magazine I write for. I'll think on it.

Cry Of The Soul

Why do I recommend certain books to others to read? A book has to "grab" my attention right away or I won't read it. And, the book has to "speak" to me. Its subject matter will be what I "need" at the moment I start reading. What I read will often times bring someone to my mind. "They need the light humor of this book...they need to reflect on the deep truths of this book...they need the satisfaction and help this book can offer". I often want to buy a copy and give to someone. Such is the case with Cry Of The Soul. Now, I'm also trying a new tact: Ask God to guide me about the book - in what it says to me and the possibility of it speaking to another. God knows. So I truly need to do this. READ IT FIRST, GINI. Then heed God's guidance. I want to write my "reactions" to this book as I read it---hoping that the difficult passages will be softened and I can encourage others to pursue the book through its entire reading. There is an ebb and flow of this book - emotional and intellectual and spiritual. It will touch all the areas of who I am. I need to continue on, through those tough passages that I may find dry and boring and perhaps against the grain what I believe. If the book seems worth my while to read, which Cry Of----- does, then I need to respect it and read to the end. Judge it at the end Gini...keep reading. I am drawn to books dealing with the subject of God and my relationship to Him. I am challenged in C.O.T.S. to grapple with my emotions and see them as an avenue to a contemplative look at God - How I relate to Him and how He relates to me. Don't simplify what I feel. See these in light of wrestling with God, encountering and dealing with God. Let my emotions pursue my relationship with God. The Psalms can be my guide for this pilgrimage, to see God's heart.