Trusting God in Shattered Dreams

Sometimes my FB post is like a page in my journal and you, my FB friends get to see my inner thoughts...I read in our newspaper yesterday the article about Rick and Kay Warren returning to their church after an extended time away to grieve for their son, Matt, who took his life...a friend of theirs wrote: "Every skeptic should have the fortitude to watch and observe Christian faith at its best." He was referring to that of Rick and Kay...no phony "we are Christians and we will suck it up and be strong" They were raw in their emotions and intensely honest about faith and God. Rick said "for seven years, I prayed every day that God would heal my son's mind...it was the ‪#‎l‬ prayer of my life. It didn't make sense to me why this prayer wasn't working"- Then on April 5 Matt died...Kay said, With his death, my hope for a healed mind on Earth was over and hope seemed like a mockery to me...but what happened that day is not the end of the story." As I read their story, I realized their hope did not die with Matt...AMAZING. So, me? I pray daily for Landon and Kyla...for God's protection, HIS work in their lives and that they, too, will come in faith to trust HIM. But, after reading the Warrens' story I ask myself, "Can God really be trusted?" This is what I read this morning: Hebrews 6:17 - 19 "God also bound himself with an oath, so that those who received the promise could be perfectly sure that He would never change His mind. So God has given both His promise and His oath. These two things are unchangeable because it is impossible to God to lie. Therefore, we who have fled to Him for refuge can have great confidence as we hold to the hope that lies before us. This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls." I will never understand the whys of our shattered dreams. But, if I can't cling to God's "I am faithful and I am God and I have plans for your good", then I have nothing. So, I choose hope, even when it seems a mockery.

Tough Lesson

When I ask God for wisdom, I don't always know when, where and what circumstances He will give W. to me... Case in point:

I ask for wisdom A LOT when spending time with Kyla.  I decided with my teaching background I would work with her on learning her ABCs.  She is to begin Kindergarten in the Fall and the preschool teachers feel she isn't ready...partly because she doensn't know her ABCs.  Kyla is very, very intelligent.  But she is also, very very stubborn.  At times she isn't teachable or coachable. 

I gathered my material and tried on several occasions to work with her.  She was uncooperative.  I became SO frustrated that I got to the point of not wanting to spend time with her AT ALL.

After "cooling down" I heard God's voice telling me: "Your relationship with Kyla is MORE important than her learning these... you quit teaching because you don't like it... you have good ideas but you don't work well with children.  Step back... let someone else help her"

WISDOM...WISDOM...WISDOM

His Potter's Wheel

It is not as if God all of a sudden changed his mind about you/me. As I understand and believe, it is that He knew before you/me were born and he knew all the "twists and turns, ups and downs, detours, potholes, avalanches, earthquakes, sweet meadow strolls, fresh scents of gentle rain, tsunamis, experiences with His glory in nature, physical & emotional challenges, etc" that would be a part of our design. He just keeps leaving us on the potter's wheel and says "I'm not finished yet"...For me, it is impatience, like a small child saying in the car "are we there yet?" Sometimes I want to grab the wheel and say, "I know a better way, a short cut"... then there is the blow-out and waiting for the repair. I am SO THANKFUL we have His Word which keeps telling us all about Him. How gracious of Him to do that.

In The Clouds

I have a cool and true story for you:
 

It is about a dad and son at an incredible park. It had everything. The best were the slides. There were three: a little one for beginners, young and inexperienced; a middle sized for older, more adventuresome kids and then the "in the clouds slide". 

 

The son went with no hesitation to the little one and whizzed down with a big smile. In no time he ran to the mid sized, hesitating a bit at the bottom when he realized it was higher. He looked at his dad who gave him a smile that said, "go for it". And again, he whizzed down, this time with eyes bigger. 

 

Finally, the little boy just had to try the "in the clouds slide".  Big teenagers were lining up for this one with no fear and moving quickly up the ladder. When the son looked at his dad for the ok sign the dad pretended to be looking away. The boy decided on his own to go for it. 

 

A third of the way up the ladder he froze. Clinging and trembling the son looked anxiously at his dad who was watching. His dad rushed to the slide and asked "are you ok?" The son said, "Daddy, will you come down the slide with me?" The dad knew this was one of those moments. He then asked his son, "Why?" And his son replied, "because it is too big for me." With that, the dad reached for him, then climb the ladder with his son and with arms and legs wrapped around him, they flew with smiles and a tight hug through "the clouds" to the ground below.

 

This reminds me of my God's love for me, encouraging me to move forward to the "in the clouds" experiences. But HE waits for me to realize my need for HIM and then he rushes to me and holds me in a way that gives me courage but also shows me once again how I can trust HIM. Thank you Jesus. You are forever faithful.

As King David Sees God's Glory

Physical and emotional pain quickly zaps my joy.  I NEED a huge dose of God's glory.  My mind calls for moments from my memory when I have seen the most spectacular display of His glory in the heavens...a sunset that causes me to gasp.  Stars so abundant in the desert sky, there is hardly room for darkness.  The study of the complex details and design of a human.  Why is my awe so fleeting?  Why am I so easily distracted and quick to "move on"?  Have I ever wondered why God made sunsets? Did He name the stars and place them in the heavens because He was bored?  Drink deep and long Gini, of the glory of God.  Your soul is withering.

From The Message (chosen simply as a personal preference) David celebrates God's Glory:

Psalm 29:1-9

"Bravo, God, bravo!

gods and all angels shout, "encore!"

In awe before the glory,

in awe before God's visible power, Stand at attention!

Dress your best to honor Him!

God thunders across the waters,

Brilliant, His voice and His face, streaming brightness--

God, across the flood waters.

God's thunder tympanic,

God's thunder symphonic.

God's thunder smashes cedars,

God topples the northern cedars.

The mountain ranges skip like spring colts,

The high ridges jump like wild kid goats.

God's thunder spits fire.

God thunders, the wilderness quakes;

He makes the desert of Kadesh shake.

God's thunder sets the oak trees dancing

A wild dance, whirling; the pelting rain strips their branches.

We fall to our knees--we call out, "Glory!"

God's Glory

My soul is dry.  It feels parched.  I am so tired of speeches.  I am so tired of opinions (mine included).  There is a deep longing in my soul.  This morning I discovered what it is.  One of my favorite authors Max Lucado has a devotional book called "It's Not About Me".  I am just beginning my reading.  But as is typical of Lucado, I don't have to read far before I am struck with relational feelings.  Here are his opening words to chapter 3: "Moses asked to see it on Sinai.  It billowed through the temple, leaving priests too stunned to minister.  When Ezekiel saw it, he had to bow.  It encircled the angels and starstruck the shepherds in the Bethlehem pasture.  Jesus radiates it.  John beheld it.  Peter witnessed it on Transfiguration Hill.  Christ will return enthroned in it.  Heaven will be illuminated by it.  One glimpse, one taste, one sampling, and (our) faith will never be the same... GLORY GOD'S GLORY"

And, David, the psalmist expressed that longing: Psalm 29 (The Message) "Bravo, God, bravo! gods and all angels shout, "encore!" In awe before the glory, in awe before God's visible power.  Stand at attention!  Dress your best to honor Him! God thunders across the waters, Brilliant, His voice and His face, streaming brightness--God, across the floor waters. God's thunder tympanic, God's thunder symphonic.  God's thunder smashes cedars, God topples the northern cedars.  The mountain ranges skip like spring colts, the high ridges jump like walk kid goats.  God's thunder spits fire. God thunders, the wilderness quakes; He makes the desert of Kadesh shake. Gd's thunder sets the oak trees dancing a wild dance, whirling; the pelting rain strips their branches.  We vall to our knees--we call out, GLORY"

MORE THAN WORSHIP

I have decided to use this site (Journey Between The Two Eternities) for more than worship.  I have a need to "pour out my soul"  This pouring may have the contents of anger, doubt, frustration and other negatives.  But, because I believe my God is ALL SEEING AND ALL KNOWING, and I am confident in His amazing love and grace over me, I can express ALL here.  I believe it will bring healing.  This will be my safe place to pour out my heart.  I won't be offending others.  Perhaps in the pouring, the healing will follow and I will receive new insights.