MY STORY
When my dad heard my
mom was pregnant with me in the mid 1940’s he said, “I could have done without
that”… not easy news for a man with an 8th grade education, barely
making ends meet with three children, one of which had severe physical
disabilities. I grew up knowing Dad
loved Jesus - Yet, his hot temper and
deeply felt emotions were the traits I took as my own. I remember him telling me as a young adult,
“You need to give the Holy Spirit your temper”.
I grew up totally saturated
in church. At an early age I wanted Jesus
in my heart but I grew up with doubts about HIS love for me. How could Jesus love this strong willed,
explosive, insecure being? It wasn’t
until the early years of my married life with Charlie I settled those doubts. Then I knew I belonged to HIM. But my
rebelliousness kept me wandering. I had
settled the eternal destination of heaven or hell, but I hadn’t given Jesus
that rebelliousness of “I want to live my way”.
The Book of Psalms in the Bible speak to me –
particularly these words “Know HE is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and great
in loving kindness, hearing my cries and keeping me.” God cares about my day to day existence. So, He took the initiative. THE PIVITAL POINT , I call my MY AWAKENING
was in 1999 – I had a growth in my brain.
I believe “GOD TOUCHED MY BRAIN
AND SAID – I WANT YOUR ATTENTION.” I
survived this growth but I was left with movement issues and a slight double vision…I
accept this as a reminder of HIS touch. Now,
the longings of the Psalms fill my heart. The rebellious issues are still there
but more words from the Psalms help keep
me centered. “Be gracious to ME O God,
according to YOUR loving kindness, according to the greatness of YOUR
compassions, blot out my transgressions.”
Again and again HIS
timing in my life has been impeccable…I am so glad HE took the initiative
because in 2005 our son Brian married Kelsi and in 2008 and 2011 our two grand
children, Landon and Kyla were born. What
I would be missing if I continued my wanderings!
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