Grief shared in death

 I wrote the following on a Facebook post just recently...remembering about Lew and that experience with him as he passed to Heaven was healing to remember and write about: 

Kate, bless you dear heart...thank you for each word you wrote. I hope that you received a bit of healing through this process. I was with my brother in the hospital when he died around 3 in the morning. The nurses were ok but I will say, the young man in the bed next to my brother was the kindest as he looked at me with compassion in his eyes and said "I'm sorry for your loss" And a young, in training nurse brought me a cot to sleep on next to my brother - taking me out of the very uncomfortable chair I was in. It was another healing time for me and this young nurse because he had done something wrong earlier that I had scolded him for. My brother was on hospice care there and close to death so the nurses had him on a morphine drip with instructions to not bother him because he was in a coma. This young man had come in earlier to take his vitals and when he did this it put my brother in a state of distress. I ran for the nurses, they came in and took the equipment away and apologized to me. I looked at the young nurse and said "don't ever do that again" Later, when he brought me the cot, he was so full of compassion and as painful as all of that was, I believe he learned from it. Being present when death arrives is a "human experience" time that care givers and family need to experience as a time to share in grief.