Shepherd Words

Pastor Eric K. wrote this is response to an email I wrote about sorrow in my soul.

God's heart is bigger than mine for those I love. In our hands we embrace others with loving concern and sometimes we hold too tight in fear. God is the author of your family's stories and we know what kind of stories He writes for all those who are His. 

"Faith is purified, love is intensified, grace is tasted as we are tested." Don't we wish the testing would be over after x amount of years!! Yet God's love is too holy and strong for Him to stop purifying our trust in Him. 

 

I am praying you run to God for refuge. Sometimes it just seems so hard to do this - but I encourage you to do it. He is altogether and always safe. 

The bumbling, stumbling saints in all our awkward attempts to love are the body of Christ to enfold you and remind you Jesus Christ came to save sinners.

Darkness of the Soul

I wrote this to Pastor Eric in September, 2019

I am in a "dark place of the soul".  I had tears running down my face through most of Sunday morning worship...couldn't stay for Communion.


This relates a bit to your message - the OK goal to set for getting through this life unscathed and desiring that those we love in our family will do the same.  And, yet having that higher goal of obedience to our LORD.


Lately it feels like I am on an emotional and spiritual roller coaster.  Last week God and I had an amazing time together as He worked on my negative attitude.  The details were a "God sighting" that sure lifted my spirits.  Then Charlie shared very soon after that an experience he had and with tears said the same thing: "A God sighting"   It was as if God "showed up" at our house to give us a special part of Himself. 


Then the very next day, the bottom dropped out.  It is amazing what an 8 year old can do to cause such pain in the heart.  A prayer I have been expressing to God is for Landon and Kyla, our grand children.  Sure, I pray over my "list" about them - every area of their lives I can think of.  But, of late I have been saying to God and focusing on: I want MORE THAN ANY THING for His favor and call to faith on their lives, and that they will say YES to Him.  I want more than life itself, to see them in heaven. Before I depart this world it would be nice to see them come to Jesus in faith...but this timing may not occur.


The difficulties with Kyla build and build and my heart hurts and I've been expressing lots of frustration and anger in unrelated areas.  The outbursts of anger are symptoms of unresolved issues.  Anyway, enough of that.  It is just that yesterday was dark.  I finally started to have my quiet time this morning and instead of talking to God, I am talking to you.  I'm probably mad at Him.  But right now, I don't want to participate in our Women's Bible study and I don't want to come to church.  Sometimes I feel like, "why bother".  It is amazing when God "shows" up but these days of silence and darkness are nearly unbearable.


It is sad how family issues affect everyone...right now we (Charlie and I) are feeling at odds with Brian and Kelsi.  It isn't so much what is said, but what isn't said.  Brian and Kelsi have another "child" - a 16 year old niece of Kelsi's living with them, probably for a few more years.  She was in an abusive home situation and ran away to Brian and Kelsi.  It is a LONG and complicated story.  No doubt Landon and Kyla are being affected by this and we certainly are.


I am reminded of Jesus' words in John 16:33 about troubles in this world.  I certainly know the troubles He speaks of are far greater than what I've expressed.  But, if I can't deal with my little troubles, how will I respond to the real ones?  Thanks for being my safe place to share.  Gini
 
 
 
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Yes, God Knows Me...

God's timing and personal work in my life has been so interesting of late.  Yesterday (Sept 16) I had a VERY bad attitude and neck pain occurred late last night and today has been painful.  But I feel God said, "No Gini, we are going to deal with your attitude"  So, I feel He had me stay home from attending Bible study and spend time early this A.M. in bed, talking to Him and listening to Him.  It was so refreshing and needed.

Worship Thoughts

September 17, 2015 at 8:20 AM ·

Today and all of our tomorrows, for your soul and for my soul - "Psalm 62:5-8 "My soul, wait in silence for God only; For my hope is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold; I shall not be shaken. On God my salvation and my glory rest; the rock of my strength, my refuge is in God. Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us."

God Sightings

----- Forwarded Message -----

From: Hugh Steven <hughsteven78@gmail.com>

To: Charlie Walker <walker_c@yahoo.com>

Sent: Tuesday, September 17, 2019, 3:14:26 PM PDT

Subject: You were an Angel

Hi Charlie,

In every way you were God's Angel for me this morning. The circumstances that brought you to my rescue were indeed ordained of God.   I had no idea how I was going to get out of that sofa if it hadn't been for your perfect timing.  So dear friend thank you for being yet again the Lord's instrument of service and blessing.

Blessings,

Hugh