PARCHED SOULS

My soul is dry. It feels parched. I am so tired of speeches. I am so tired of opinions (mine included). There is a deep longing in my soul. This morning I discovered what it is. One of my favorite authors Max Lucado has a devotional book called "It's Not About Me". I am just beginning my reading. But as is typical of Lucado, I don't have to read far before I am struck with relational feelings. Here are his opening words to chapter 3: "Moses asked to see it on Sinai. It billowed through the temple, leaving priests too stunned to minister. When Ezekiel saw it, he had to bow. It encircled the angels and starstruck the shepherds in the Bethlehem pasture. Jesus radiates it. John beheld it. Peter witnessed it on Transfiguration Hill. Christ will return enthroned in it. Heaven will be illuminated by it. One glimpse, one taste, one sampling, and (our) faith will never be the same... GLORY... GOD'S GLORY" Reminds me of Pastor Eric's sermon in part about Jesus' transfiguration. I often go to the cross. Maybe I need also to go to Mt. Transfiguration. I read Lucado's remarks on July 20th 2016 So 5 years later I still have a parched soul. Go to the Living Water, Gini Current thoughts: I'm still processing the anger, etc regarding the last baseball game. The route between Brian's house and ours takes us by the little league field. I want to look away. I think I can tell you the following because I am eliminating the details. The action the Little League Tournament Committee in Williamsport, PA took was against all managers and coaches. They went a step further. They said the coaches of TWLL are suspended from any further connection with baseball for an indefinite period of time. This breaks my heart regarding Brian. I know who he is. He was unable for a period of time to separate being a dad and being a coach. It cost him dearly. Those at TWLL who know and respect him are shocked. The pain and anger in me seems to spread like a thin layer of tar. It is sticky and hot and black. I was fooled into thinking the baseball fields were a safe place. Indeed, Satan is like a roaring lion roaming the earth, seeking those he can devour. A warning: wear your armor.

ARROGANCE

Arrogance is easy to see and find. Arrogance wants to be seen and heard. But it tries to disguise itself behind kindness, friendliness and unselfishness. Once the blow of intended injury has been inflicted the phony acts of kindness will begin. When the injured party cannot accept the "kindness" then the arrogant one can point at the injured party and claim "rejection" and then intensify the acts of antagonizing insulting taunts of superiority, lording over the injured one. The injured one cries for justice which does not always come. The Thesaurus uses the following words for ARROGANT: over-bearing pride, haughtiness, assurance, presummption, pretension, loftiness, imperiousness, vanity, conceit, egoism, bluster, swagger, insolence, dissdain, contempt, scorn and lordliness. And why am I writing this on my worship blog now? My precious family experienced the brunt of ARROGANCEE during and after the TWLL vs Villa Park district championship little league game on Saturday, July 10th. My soul is crying out for JUSTICE! As I am processing the events of the ugly game and pain that came as a result, I am having the book Cry Of The Soul help me process. It is a look at unrighteous anger vs righteous anger. Am I moving toward God to have Him help me with my anger or am I moving away from Him? As I reflect back on the game, it seems like and feels like Satan raised his ugly head and swaggered about with glee that he won the battle. As I had dressed for the game I had chosen to wear a necklace that held colors like a rainbow. And I felt like it was my visible connection with God. I felt He had promised me (although He hadn't) to say "Yes" to my request that we win the game. I told Charlie God had spoken to my heart (like the 2nd game prayer for Maddox) and said "relax Gini, I've got this. When we lost, I immediately reached up and tore the necklace from my neck and threw it in my purse. I was SO ANGRY ... angry at God. He let me down (I thought). The loss was painful. But the swagger of ARROGANCE that seem to circle again and again around us hurt so very, very much. Charlie and I found out that there is a movement of parents wanting justice who are calling out to the over-seers of the tournment. Letters have been written and now we wait. This season of life with so much anger, hurt and injustice in America seems the perfect stage for our parents of TWLL coming together and saying "NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The cry for justice seems to come from deep within as the good and decent say we will put into action our need for justice. On a personal level, I was reminded of an article to be published in the August magazine of FaithOnEveryCorner that I forgot about. It is called WAITING. A sad update on this story: The manager of the opposing team was reinstated so he could continue to manage his team as it continued to play in the tournament. Brian? Who knows about his future in little league. BUT, in a conversation I had with him about this, he basically said he is "over this" and is moving on. I am not there yet. But I am moving toward God now, more than way. ARROGANCE. Is this a subject to share about in FOEC Magazine I write for. I'll think on it.

Cry Of The Soul

Why do I recommend certain books to others to read? A book has to "grab" my attention right away or I won't read it. And, the book has to "speak" to me. Its subject matter will be what I "need" at the moment I start reading. What I read will often times bring someone to my mind. "They need the light humor of this book...they need to reflect on the deep truths of this book...they need the satisfaction and help this book can offer". I often want to buy a copy and give to someone. Such is the case with Cry Of The Soul. Now, I'm also trying a new tact: Ask God to guide me about the book - in what it says to me and the possibility of it speaking to another. God knows. So I truly need to do this. READ IT FIRST, GINI. Then heed God's guidance. I want to write my "reactions" to this book as I read it---hoping that the difficult passages will be softened and I can encourage others to pursue the book through its entire reading. There is an ebb and flow of this book - emotional and intellectual and spiritual. It will touch all the areas of who I am. I need to continue on, through those tough passages that I may find dry and boring and perhaps against the grain what I believe. If the book seems worth my while to read, which Cry Of----- does, then I need to respect it and read to the end. Judge it at the end Gini...keep reading. I am drawn to books dealing with the subject of God and my relationship to Him. I am challenged in C.O.T.S. to grapple with my emotions and see them as an avenue to a contemplative look at God - How I relate to Him and how He relates to me. Don't simplify what I feel. See these in light of wrestling with God, encountering and dealing with God. Let my emotions pursue my relationship with God. The Psalms can be my guide for this pilgrimage, to see God's heart.

When I Think Of All This...

My favorite prayer in scripture begins with "When I think of all this"...and when I read those 6 words I need to pause and ponder about "all" what? This prayer is Ephesians 3:14 - 19 NLT. I have to go to chapter 2 of Ephesians to discover the fullness of "all" and what caused Paul to say that he "falls to his knees". Me? I weep. The division in our world today caused by hate is reconciled in chapter two's words: "He (Jesus) made peace between Jews and Gentiles by creating in himself one new people from the two groups." And what does this have to do with me (Gini)? I went to Proverbs 21:30 for my answer: "No human wisdom or understanding or plan can stand against the LORD." In Jesus there is unity and no plan to divide can stand against it. Jews and Gentiles represent ALL of humanity. Paul was given the responsibility of bringing the Gospel to Gentiles, I being one of them. Every word I read in scripture written by Paul is to me and any non Jew on planet earth. I love the red ribbon of Christ's redemptive blood that runs its true and final course through God's Story, Genesis through Revelation. God, the Father is the creator of everything in heaven and on earth. Through His Spirit and Christ my roots can grow down into God's love and keep me strong. As I understand and experience this awesome love I can be complete with the fullness of life and power from God. This is the promise of this magnificent prayer in God's Word. And hopefully as I live out this promise I will be a part of bringing peace to others with Christ beside me, over me, behind me and in front of me. This GREAT news is the absolute best for my hurting and dying world. The daily push by the evil one to divide can be pushed back and away by HIS unifying redemptive love. All praise and glory to HIM.

History

June 25, 2020 Facebook: Growing up I was not a history buff...probably because most of my access to history was reading. But NOW I really enjoy reading. And much of what I enjoy reading is HISTORY. So I got this bit of info from a hymn history book. The Hymn, Ancient of Days was written in 1886 as part of Albany, New York's celebrating its bicentennial. Another source of history is, of course, the Bible. And the history recorded there isn't all sunny and warm. Much is dark. I can't imagine anyone destroying the Bible because of its history. I would be the first to admit and agree that much of America's history isn't sunny and warm but dark. Yet, I am SO sad about parts of our history being torn down. I'm not searching for reasons. I'm not wishing to engage in debates. I just want to say that this all makes me SO SAD

Could This Happen

COULD THIS HAPPEN? COULD THIS REALLY HAPPEN? The house was finally quiet. The giggles…noise from the toys…the television…the puppy’s barking. Silence. Sweet silence. The young couple took a few moments to enjoy it. Then they spoke of it. Was it possible this was the end of the first week of summer vacation? They were exhausted. Only the first week. The entire summer stretched out before them. How were they going to survive it with four children…the oldest just finished elementary school and had already rolled his eyes to express his boredom with the “family games”. The youngest was easy. She sat in her stroller and giggled as she tossed her bottle for the puppy to chase. The “in-betweens” played hide-and-seek. Mom and Dad? It was a great day of frolicking and picture taking. BUT, here they were. EXHAUSTED. The TV remained off. They both needed to talk about this. “We need a plan” they both said, without speaking. The next day was Sunday and there were two more in this month and at least four in each summer month ahead. How about going to church? They had planned on this before their first child was born. Both had grown up going to their church every Sunday with their families. It was how they met. They loved it! So, why hadn’t they gone? Fourteen years had past. They loved this place so much and wanted their family to experience life here. What happened? Now, pure exhaustion and the need for a plan prompted them to consider going. They could even add a picnic after the morning at church. Great! This would all take half a day and then they would still have time to prepare for the new work week! It was decided. The next morning, the four children were puzzled by the blur of activity. Nice clothes were laid out for them to wear. The family picnic basket was filled to the brim and sat by the front door. Mom and Dad were lovely and handsome in clothes that indicated this was not going to be a stay at home day. It wasn’t until everyone was buckled in and Dad had started driving down the street that Mom announced “We are going to church today!” Hmmm The four children knew what this meant. Yet, they hadn’t experienced it as a family until that morning. But the enthusiasm from mom and dad soon spread through the car and with gleeful anticipation they began to imagine the next few hours. Finally the church was in sight. But, something was strange. As they pulled into the parking lot, theirs was the only car. He looked at her. She looked at him. It is Sunday? Finally, he stopped the car close to the entrance. It was then, they noticed a large sign. They got out and slowly walked toward it. With horror, he read, “This church building has been closed by the authority of the United States Government. Any attempt to open it will result in prosecution.” Below the statement was a list of 10 reasons for the closure. Each window that had once been a beautiful stain-glass was now covered with a board. Each door had a large lock. At the park, as the children ran and played their games, mom and dad sat on the blanket in stunned sorrow. How could this be? On their way to the park, they had driven by many churches. Each had the same sign and boards and locks. As they quietly talked about the events of the morning, tears swelled up and rolled down their cheeks. They waited too long. Their children would never experience those beautiful days in church. That morning, she opened her eyes, wet with tears and turned in the bed to her husband. “I just had the most horrible dream!”

Between The 2 Eternities

BetweenThe2Eternities - a favorite phrase of mine (in fact it is the name of my worship blog) We live between the two eternities - first breath until our last...before all time and into no time. On this planet, I see myself in three positions: on the potter's wheel, kneeling at the cross, and on the anvil. For me, the position on the wheel reflects my design, physically, emotionally and gifts Psalm 139:13 - 18; at the cross I willingly, or not, bend the knee (Philippians 2:10) and on the anvil (Psalm 51) - owning up to my sins and submitting to His grace, mercy and judgment. After 74+ years I find myself thinking and saying to God "ENOUGH!" I keep wanting to slide off or jump off the anvil. Of late the heat has been too much. But His Word says He is watching me (El Roi), so although I said "Yes" to Jesus at His cross, He isn't finished with me and keeps telling me, "I will say when ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!" ❤