Cold Engine

My engine was cold this morning. My clock by my side of the bed has BIG numbers so I can see the time at night without my glasses: 1:15 A.M., 3:30 A.M., 4:10 A.M., 7:40 A.M. WHAT!?!?!? Even my morning coffee (thanks Charlie) was cold. After a short stint in the microwave, the coffee did its job and moved my cold engine to a slow idle. Next - wake up spirit! I turned to devotional reading for this task. Sometimes my readings fall flat. But this morning (Thanks Max Lucado) my spirit was aroused. Wake up sleeping brain! Here are a couple of his thoughts: Nathanael said to Philip, "Can anything good come from Nazareth?" Philip answered, "Come and see." These amazing words are recording in John 1:46. Max pondered these words and wrote: "Come and see the pierced hand of God touch the most common heart, wipe the tear from the wrinkled face, and forgive the ugliest sin. Come and see. He avoids no seeker. He ignores no probe. He fears no search. Come and see." In another devotion, Max writes: "The quickest way to douse the fire of anger is with a bucket of PRAYER. Rather than rant, rave, or seek revenge, pray. Jesus did this. While hanging on the cross, He interceded for His enemies (Luke 23:34) Jesus, even Jesus left His enemies in God's hands." My Facebook friends, why did I share these? You now know what Gini's heart needs and struggles with: Like Nathanael, I need to come and see. And yes, I have anger issues. ❤

INCONSISTENCIES

If life is anything in these challenging days, it is inconsistent. The Book of Ecclesiastes in Holy Scripture addresses these inconsistencies; exploring and explaining them. Because I am an "in context" reader, the who and why of the words of this book draw me in. Although Ecclesiastes was written by the most wise and weathy king, his statement which begins this book is "Everything is meaningless, completely meangingless." How can this be? As I look around, the pursuit of achieving the most and the best seems to be what life is all about. But, the final words in Ecclesiastes nail the truth about life between the two eternities on the doors of our hearts. "Don't let the excitement of youth cause you to forget your Creator...Remember Him before the door to life's opportunities is closed and the sound of work fades. And here it comes: "Fear of falling...your hair turning white and you drag along without enery...remember Him before you near the grave" Then, the Teacher gives each reader his final conclusion: "Fear God and obey His commands..." This little book should be read as a whole. The emotions I felt while reading it reminds me of a roller coaster ride. I want to scream, "Let me off!" Solomen begins Ecclesiastes with the despair of it all. But, then, there He is---my Creator. His love, His plans, His way for me to travel through life all leads me to solid ground. And evan while riding the inconsistencies of the roller coaster He is there with me, showing me what DOES have meaning and worth.

AWE

Meditating on the essence of GOD --- During this Advent season of 2016, I attempted to describe the essence of GOD. Here is what I wrote in my gratitude journal: YOU - YHWH Exceedingly, abundantly beyond beyond x a zillion --- and this doesn't begin to describe your essence - INFINITY - no beginning and no end. As a writer, I often experience frustration with words - those times when I can't find the ones I want, as I search in my "word box"... my thesaurus helps me in those times... but not now. And, I am so glad! I will NEVER find the words to describe the awe and wonder and majesty of GOD. He knew before time began on this planet that I would (in stumbling, incorrect grammar and sentence structure) write this...HE knew every sinful thought and action of my life. Yet, HE came as a baby, lived sinless and died in my place to restore me to this essence of love I can't describe. I am totally astounded. ❤

BUILD MY LIFE - Lyrics by Michel W. Smith

Verse 1 Worthy of every song we could ever sing Worthy of all the praise we could ever bring Worthy of every breath we could ever breathe We live for You Verse 2 Jesus, the Name above every other name Jesus, the only One who could ever save Worthy of every breath we could ever breathe We live for You Chorus Holy, there is no one like You There is none beside You Open up my eyes in wonder And show me who You are And fill me with Your heart And lead me in Your love to those around me Bridge I will build my life upon Your love It is a firm foundation I will put my trust in You alone And I will not be shaken.

A Jewel In Lamentations

No political statements here...just heart felt observations. For those of you who love America, an appropriate book to read is Lamentations in the Old Testament. Indeed, we need to lament. As my son said in his Facebook post, God help us. Lamentations 1:20 "LORD, See my anguish! my heart is broken and my soul despairs, for I have rebelled against you..." Ch 2:3 "All the strength of Israel vanishes beneath his fierce anger. The Lord has withdrawn his protection as the enemy attacks. He consumes the whole land of Israel like a raging fire." Ch. 2:19 "Rise during the night and cry out. Pour out your hearts like water to the Lord. Lift up your hands to him in prayer, pleading for your children, for in every street they are faint with hunger." The entire chapter of three is fiercely dark but look what Jeremish wrote in the midst of it: vv. 21 - 26 - "Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: the faithful love of the LORD never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. I say to myself, 'the LORD is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him' The LORD is good to those who depend on him, to those who search for him, so it is good to wait quietly for salvation from the LORD" And why, my son do I write this? Because HE is our only hope. And, from Psalm 91:4 are these amazing words: HE shall cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you shall take refuge. His truth shall be your shield."

Our Backyard

Our backyard reminds me of our society -- it "hums" with activity...Birds who are busy providing for their families; the bully mockingbird who sits high and yells his loud threats, the mourning doves with their soothing morning "coo coo coo", the hawk on the prowl, the forever scavenger black birds, the hummingbirds who spread beauty & move like a teenager high on life, and of course our ladies, the chickens!

PARCHED SOULS

My soul is dry. It feels parched. I am so tired of speeches. I am so tired of opinions (mine included). There is a deep longing in my soul. This morning I discovered what it is. One of my favorite authors Max Lucado has a devotional book called "It's Not About Me". I am just beginning my reading. But as is typical of Lucado, I don't have to read far before I am struck with relational feelings. Here are his opening words to chapter 3: "Moses asked to see it on Sinai. It billowed through the temple, leaving priests too stunned to minister. When Ezekiel saw it, he had to bow. It encircled the angels and starstruck the shepherds in the Bethlehem pasture. Jesus radiates it. John beheld it. Peter witnessed it on Transfiguration Hill. Christ will return enthroned in it. Heaven will be illuminated by it. One glimpse, one taste, one sampling, and (our) faith will never be the same... GLORY... GOD'S GLORY" Reminds me of Pastor Eric's sermon in part about Jesus' transfiguration. I often go to the cross. Maybe I need also to go to Mt. Transfiguration. I read Lucado's remarks on July 20th 2016 So 5 years later I still have a parched soul. Go to the Living Water, Gini Current thoughts: I'm still processing the anger, etc regarding the last baseball game. The route between Brian's house and ours takes us by the little league field. I want to look away. I think I can tell you the following because I am eliminating the details. The action the Little League Tournament Committee in Williamsport, PA took was against all managers and coaches. They went a step further. They said the coaches of TWLL are suspended from any further connection with baseball for an indefinite period of time. This breaks my heart regarding Brian. I know who he is. He was unable for a period of time to separate being a dad and being a coach. It cost him dearly. Those at TWLL who know and respect him are shocked. The pain and anger in me seems to spread like a thin layer of tar. It is sticky and hot and black. I was fooled into thinking the baseball fields were a safe place. Indeed, Satan is like a roaring lion roaming the earth, seeking those he can devour. A warning: wear your armor.